From Loneliness to Purpose and Joy

With the corona pandemic on top of all the other crisis that we are facing, some of the most essential questions a human being can ever try to answer require answering now. Now is the time – because if not now then when?

Meeting with Gila Nehemia  was one of the special moments in life when we’re able to lead each other closer to the clarity that we all need.

So grab your favorite beverage and notebook and listen in…


Here are some of the questions that we were contemplating

  • Why we cannot overcome loneliness in spite of engaging in personal and spiritual growth – and how we can
  • Why the ability to enjoy solitude is essential
  • What belonging really means
  • How life pushes us towards our own liberation
  • When awakening can happen
  • How we can align with the work we are born to do
  • Why we have to bring out gifts out (in spite of fear and confusion)
  • Why we have to bring joy into all aspects of our life

Here’s where you can learn more more about our work and services

Creativity and productivity – and joy?

Creativity and productivity – that sounds like a challenge right away, does it not? Well, it has been for me. At least the way I used to look at it.

Because, me being a creative type so is my life! Like in nature and no matter what I try to do to limit it there is always too many ideas and projects to handle… Can you relate?

I still haven’t learned to tame this “animal”, and I know that I never will! Which, I’m convinced more and more, is a really good thing! But how do you live with too many projects and too little time for them and remain (fairly) calm and (very) joyful? How do make creativity and productivity work and play together?

This has been an ongoing challenge and learning for me, and I have been experimenting a lot. These days the name of the experiment is: Joyful un-controlling!

Because, creative as I may be, part of me does like a certain measure of control … Except, life has a different take on that!

Seriously, I do trust and see that life is wiser than the part of me that thinks I can structure my way into productivity. Well, I can to some degree but then life takes over (firmly and lovingly).

So, typically I start my day with making a nice, creative overview of what I want to accomplish that day (not a traditional to do list, it’s a more playful version of it, but still) and then I play with it, from an inner sense of what really is most important in that moment and that is wonderful, going with a mellow flow… Except…

Sooner or later life happens in its own way! People, requests and urgent tasks show up… And all I can do with that is go with it the best I can… To the degree you can go with a rather lively river!

So here’s the beauty of it: At the end of the day, I am tired in a good way, and also amazed. Because while often times there is a lot left undone on my playlist (and some of it will be taken care of another day and some of it maybe never), some other things that I would never have thought of came as gifts. So in spite of the partial chaos there is also the sense of wonder, of accomplishment, of fulfillment.

What I learn these days is that good things happen even better without me trying to control the process too much. It’s like with dancing! All I need to do is tune in to the music station that is there for me and let my body do the rest. But if I try to do it “the right way”… haha, no way!

But how about you? On your way to living and manifesting your life’s work, how do you deal with creativity and productivity, structure and too many projects and ideas? What works for you, or not?

creativity and productivity - natural abundance
Image by pasja1000 from Pixabay

Overwhelm after an amazing seminar?

Have you ever come back from an event, a course, a seminar with so many ideas, so much inspiration and motivation… And then you encounter  overwhelm?…  Then watch this:

Watched the video? Great. Then let’s make this more specific:

Here are the three things for you to do when you encounter that post-event overwhelm:

1. Start with taking care of the one who experiences overwhelm

Before you begin even looking at the notes, the plans, the goals take care of the instrument of the work first. That’s you! Give yourself whatever you may need to find back to your balance (or find your new balance, as the case may be).

This is the time for good old self-care, self-love, grounding and joy. Re-commit to the practices that you possibly weren’t able to practice during the event. Take time to come back home to yourself. It may take hours, or even multiple days. Do whatever you need to do for yourself.

2. Move through your notes and plans as the captain of the ship that you are

When you’re back to balance and just before you begin actually working on all those notes and ideas and plans center yourself, tune in to your soul, your wholeness, yourSelf. Become very present. Then, from this space of peaceful inner leadership, start sorting your notes and ideas into the categories that make sense for you and incorporate them in your usual working/business plan.

3. Keep reconnecting to avoid overwhelm in your daily life

Bring this approach into your daily work. Honor your spiritual practices. Cultivate your connection with your true Self, love and joy. And work practically from that space.

So again, while our immediate impulse is often to just go and address all these notes and get a lot of done, the art of it is to do it in the energy that is the very foundation of who we are and what our work is.

Think of yourself as an ocean and the work as your waves. Overwhelm happens when you do it the other way round.

Need help for the process and the practices above? Here’s how I can support you.


Image by Moshe Harosh from Pixabay

Getting to the next level? The paradox…

First, a disclaimer: I am not an ambitious, driven personality as such.  🙂 So when I speak about the next level and getting there it’s not about that. Rather, it’s about the journey to the next level of freedom, of joy, of your life’s work, of a relationship perhaps – whatever matters to you. And there’s a paradox  there… Listen in…

Below are some key points from the video:

Next level coachingGetting to the next level is not like climbing the steps of a ladder. Rather, it’s a spiral- like unfoldment.

So how do we get to the next level?

There is a paradox there, because the person that we will become at the next level sees things from a more expansive perspective than the person asking the question, so how can the one asking know how to get there? Based on experience! And the experience is… Well, there we have another paradox:

The movement towards the next level is happening as we stay where we are. In other words, as we are fully present in this moment,  receiving the full gift of the here and now

Eckhart Tolle speaks of our tendency to trade the present movement for some future moment. Yet there is no better, more fulfilling experience than that of being present here and now.

And even if the next level can, by its nature, feel more expansive, joyful, fulfilling… It can only happen through our presence there – which starts with our presence here!

The good news (well, it’s all good news really…), but the really good news 🙂 is that there was a time where we knew exactly how to do this. We were born as the masters of growth!

Next level coachingChildren are masters of reaching the next level, being fully present while growing and building like no one else can.

They and we know, instinctively, that the art of growing lies in the being fully here and now. And then things unfold, not because we need them to but because we are savoring the perfect magic of here and now.

Of course, what we have to be present to here and now and what we grow and build these days is so much more than sand slots… This is not for the faint of heart, as they say. 🙂 If you feel you need or want support for your journey, here are some options 


Images by cocoparisienne  and Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay

Our yearning and our joy

Within us lives a light. That in itself could be enough to make us eternally happy. But that’s not how it works. Because right next to the light within us lives a calling, a yearning to share our light with the world. Isn’t that the very meaning of our existence? And if so, what is that frustration within?

Yes, we know that we shine and express our light already, in some ways, sometimes, under certain circumstances. Yet, there are also those nagging thoughts. “It is not enough. I am not enough. I have so much more to give…”

But how? After all, we cannot spend our entire day in meditation, in prayer or in nature (isn’t that where we experience our light most clearly?). There are so many demands—work, family, the house, the bills, stuff…

Not to mention all that arises within us along the way. The overwhelm, mental and emotional, if not physical. The mist of confusion, the secret doubts, the many fears… How on Earth are we supposed to juggle all that at once and then also be that sweet angelic voice in the midst of life’s turmoil?

We want to! But it seems impossible. And therefore, we live with a sense of not quite being who we were meant to be, not quite living the way we were meant to live, not quite bringing what we sense we are capable of bringing to the world. So it feels… But what if the feeling is but misguided aspiration?

What if life is not asking us to be a spiritual superhero? What if life doesn’t want us to sit in quiet meditation and with a perfect smile all day long? What if it is, rather, inviting us to meet life as is and ourselves as we are? What if what life really wants is for us to discover the light and the joy that is everywhere already? And what if life is already leading us there?

What if life really happens for us and not to us? What if it is a divine adventure, scripted for us exactly the way it is, for a reason? What if all life wants from us is for us to meet every experience with our presence?

Because when we are truly present to what is, no matter how mundane or unpleasant an experience appears, something magical can happen. We begin to SEE the light that is there already. The light within us meets the light in the world. It feels like love, and it is. That, in all its simplicity, is the secret of living in the light.

We are born to shine our light exactly where we are, in the midst of life’s apparent messiness, and we can. We are born to live life’s adventure right here on Earth, all included, and we do. It is through accepting ourselves and embracing our life that we find the answer to our yearning and the gift of our joy.

~ ~ ~

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

Joy vs Happiness?

What is Joy and how is it different from happiness? And what significance does it have for the way you live your life?

That was the question that started the conversation between Deb Svanefelt and me. And it took us into so many exciting insights… Watch below!

Here are some of the questions we pondered:

  • How come children are so joyful – and adults not so much?
  • What are the 3 main paths to joy?
  • Why do we need to meet our pain and shadows before we can live our joy?
  • What is a natural Joy Keeper?
  • What is the relationship between Love and Joy?
  • How can being an ambassador of Joy help our world?

And finally a question for you:
What in this conversation touched your heart the most?

Here are the resources mentioned in the interview:

Meet Deb Svanefelt here

Download the Finding Joy Every Day ebook here

Join the Joy Keepers Network here


Spiritual information overload

Are you experiencing spiritual information overload? If so, you’re not alone! There is so much going on with us and around us, and I meet many spiritual seekers, Lightworkers and Joy Keepers feeling overwhelmed, even if for the best of reasons. What to do about it? Here’s a short 7 min video that I hope will inspire you

Be mindful of your needs and in that way wisely selective. Give yourself the spiritual, mental, emotional and energetical nourishment that you need.

When you accept inspiration/information, absorb it with your entire energy system, not just your mind. That will keep the energy flowing rather than depleting or overwhelming you. 

Similarly, as a teacher, be sure to make your teaching a holistic experience, and not just information transfer. At the end of the day it’s that energetic experience that opens for the transformation that the world needs now.

And of course, there are many cases, where there is much more to it. Where spiritual seekers struggle with overwhelm and stress. If that’s you, I can help you regain clarity and find your way. Schedule a Light & Joy Discovery Session here.

On silence, joy and surrender

In March 2018 I encountered quite a challenge. Even as I encountered it, and acknowledged that I needed to do something about it, I somehow did not feel drawn towards any external sources of support. Neither talking with someone, reading books, finding solutions online, applying any of the many tools I’m familiar with seemed of any relevance. It was as if all I wanted was to be still. As if my entire being was leaning towards a silent space, longing for it.

I had certain obligations though, so I couldn’t just stop everything and go into silence. I had to wait until the beginning of the Easter, where I already had reserved some time for a silent retreat.

Not that I celebrate Easter by the way. But I knew from previous years how deep transformations often do take place around Easter. The time prior to it often having a sense of heavy darkness to it and then things opening up at the end or after Easter… Have you noticed that too?

Anyhow, the retreat turned out to be very different than what I expected! Not that I expected much. All I wanted was a time of nurturing silence, of deep rest. I did not expect any new insights or messages from within. I didn’t expect any problems with staying silent either, because I already lived a very secluded life.

Unexpectedly and without me planning it this way, the 3 days retreat unfolded like a journey, with all the elements that we see when a profound transformation takes place.

There was the confrontation with what stands in my way, the roadblock.

There was the invitation to make a different choice than what I would naturally be inclined to, to unfold something in me that I’d rather not.

There was the reluctance, but then surrender, and eventually a dedication to change.

There was a time of transition when all this was somehow interacting and heating up.

There was the transformation itself, one that we cannot plan for, but which happens through divine interference, like turning led to gold

There was the sense of bringing it all home, of coming home as a changed person.

There was – and is – the post-transformational journeythe integration of the gift, willing and learning to live in alignment with what I dedicated myself to during the process.

I have a sense that the reason why it unfolded so beautifully and on its own had something to do with all the inner work I’ve done previously, alone and with others (for 40+ years). I’m making a point out of it, because for most people, to create a balanced transformational experience I would not recommend going for a deep silent retreat like this alone. Instead, do it with someone more experienced by your side, someone that can support you and guide you each step of the way, someone who knows when to take a break, when to continue and how to deal with the confusion and the pain that the process may bring to the surface. Unless you have the kind of experience it takes, please find someone that can guide you through the process. If you’d like me to be your guide through such a process,  request a Light & Joy Discovery Session and we’ll take it from there.

As for the more general insights that I gained through that journey, one of the things that I became more aware of was the subtle way in which I appear silent but am not fully silent after all. Even if it doesn’t feel like I’m thinking, and it all seems quite silent, underneath what we thought was silence there is sometimes a very discrete chatter, like whisper. And the art of it then is to notice this too, and let it be, and let yourself dive even deeper into silence.

And of course, it’s Okay no matter what you experience. Thoughts are allowed, and what are you going to do with them anyway, other than notice they’re there?

Actually, we can do and be more than just noticing. We can practice being truly present, with chatter as much as with anything else. Deep presence is more than noticing, more than observing, more than witnessing. Deep presence is a loving presence. It is observing and noticing with loving care, with compassion.

I don’t know why it’s called mindfulness, when it should be called heartfulness.

The inner shift from mindfulness to heartfulness is so subtle… there is no sudden change in the energy flow, nothing seems to move differently. Yet the effect is as dramatical as in drawing the curtains in a dark room and letting the sunlight in.

To me, this is the intention, in meditation and in life, for it to be heartfulness, not just mindfulness. It feels so much better, so much more connected and whole. So much more awake. And isn’t that what we all want?

It’s not always easy though… Yet surrendering to the not-easy path can bring such gifts…

By the way, I consider making surrender (what it means, how it happens, why it is important) one of the first topics that will be addressed in the Joy Of Purpose Support Group!

Going back to chatter… It reminds me of another form of very disturbing chatter, one that goes back to the mid-90s. At the time, I moved back to Copenhagen to take care of my mother who was dying of liver cancer (and of old age). At that point she was still able to lead a fairly normal life, she was still in her home. That said, her life had become but a pale shadow of what it used to be. Now it was all about the smallest practicalities, talking about illness, body functions, meals, back and forth, over and over. It felt like it would never stop.

I’ve always had difficulties listening to my very talkative mother (that’s the disadvantage of having a highly developed hearing abilities…😊). As her life was coming to an end, hearing her talk about the same details all day long wasn’t a difficulty anymore. It was unbearable. And, there was no way for me to stop it or get away from it. I was the only one there, I couldn’t leave her. My ears were hurting, there was a sharp physical pain inside both ears, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

So I thought until I discovered that there was something I could do after all. I could surrender. Rather than focusing on my hurting ears, I somehow found a way to endure the sound and to focus on love and on my mother instead. In doing so, in being fully and lovingly present rather than trying to escape, I found peace. In the midst of noise I found silence and love.

It’s the same gift that I found during my silent retreat, even if on a very different level and in a far, far more expansive way. And this time it wasn’t just the gift of peace. It was – and is – the gift of of a different way to be with and to receive life.

A presence, a oneness with all there is, where we all connect, underneath our talkative minds and mouths, our many actions, ideas, plans, feelings… The silent space though which it all unfolds, always has, always will.

There’s so much hope there, for us. Such mild sense of joy.

Are you too ready to go deeper into joy, purpose, surrender? 
Here’s how I can support you.


This excerpt of the forthcoming book, Awakening to Joyful Living is published here with permission, all rights reserved.

Joy and purpose belong together, forever

Joy and Purpose belong together, forever! Yes, you can almost think of them as personas. Which is why I started this video with what could be a letter:

“Dear Purpose, I need you, I want you, I can’t be joyful without you!” 🙂

Resources mentioned in this Joy and Purpose video:

 Finding Joy Every Day ebook


Sully: My Search for What Really Matters

Summary of this Joy and Purpose video

Please use this as notes for your brain – not a replacement of the video that will speak to your heart and soul as well. 🙂

  • Why we need a purpose
  • Why we want a purpose
  • Why when we align our lives with our true purpose, joy can flow
  • What is a purpose, anyhow?
  • The life of Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger as an example of purposeful living

“I believe there’s a calling for all of us. I know that every human being has value and purpose. The real work of our lives is to become aware. And awakened. To answer the call.” ~ Oprah

  • You cannot figure your calling out – it’s not an intellectual process
  • No one can tell you what your calling is
  • The difference between a purpose and a general idea

Questions for you

  • Have you ever felt that you need a purpose? Or want a purpose?
  • Do you know your specific purpose?
  • How can you align more with your purpose, and with your joy?

If you have questions for me as well, let me know!