Our yearning and our joy

Within us lives a light. That in itself could be enough to make us eternally happy. But that’s not how it works. Because right next to the light within us lives a calling, a yearning to share our light with the world. Isn’t that the very meaning of our existence? And if so, what is that frustration within?

Yes, we know that we shine and express our light already, in some ways, sometimes, under certain circumstances. Yet, there are also those nagging thoughts. “It is not enough. I am not enough. I have so much more to give…”

But how? After all, we cannot spend our entire day in meditation, in prayer or in nature (isn’t that where we experience our light most clearly?). There are so many demands—work, family, the house, the bills, stuff…

Not to mention all that arises within us along the way. The overwhelm, mental and emotional, if not physical. The mist of confusion, the secret doubts, the many fears… How on Earth are we supposed to juggle all that at once and then also be that sweet angelic voice in the midst of life’s turmoil?

We want to! But it seems impossible. And therefore, we live with a sense of not quite being who we were meant to be, not quite living the way we were meant to live, not quite bringing what we sense we are capable of bringing to the world. So it feels… But what if the feeling is but misguided aspiration?

What if life is not asking us to be a spiritual superhero? What if life doesn’t want us to sit in quiet meditation and with a perfect smile all day long? What if it is, rather, inviting us to meet life as is and ourselves as we are? What if what life really wants is for us to discover the light and the joy that is everywhere already? And what if life is already leading us there?

What if life really happens for us and not to us? What if it is a divine adventure, scripted for us exactly the way it is, for a reason? What if all life wants from us is for us to meet every experience with our presence?

Because when we are truly present to what is, no matter how mundane or unpleasant an experience appears, something magical can happen. We begin to SEE the light that is there already. The light within us meets the light in the world. It feels like love, and it is. That, in all its simplicity, is the secret of living in the light.

We are born to shine our light exactly where we are, in the midst of life’s apparent messiness, and we can. We are born to live life’s adventure right here on Earth, all included, and we do. It is through accepting ourselves and embracing our life that we find the answer to our yearning and the gift of our joy.

~ ~ ~

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

Awakening your forgotten heart and voice

What is your true, original, authentic voice? Have you ever wondered?

When you talk with other people, whether they’re friends or strangers, or when you teach, speak on stage, in a podcast, on video…

In a sense, it always is – simply because “you” is a very large container for countless versions of you, for all the facets of the diamond of your personality, changing as it turns  around.

Just like you seem to change depending on the situation, so does your voice change, depending on who you are in that moment and who you speak with or to.

Your voice has been changing this way all your life.

In fact, some of the ways in which it has been changing are so deeply ingrained in you that no one experiences them as anything less than you. Not even you.

We have a habitual relationship with our voice

We are so used to the voice that we know, we’re hardly aware that it’s not what it once was

I’ve been noticing that too, with my own voice. Not because my voice has been artificial as such, or false. On the contrary, I’ve been told times and times again that I appear authentic no matter who I’m with.

I’ve been noticing these  subtle changes nevertheless, because there is a certain energy that more and more needs to be expressed through my voice more directly, without me coming in the way. And so I’m finding the ways in which I have indeed been coming in the way.

I became more aware of the very subtle ways in which I’ve been trying to control how my expression might affect others. It’s not a conscious, “Am I nice enough? Polite enough? Pleasing enough? Intelligent enough?” And yet there is this wordless, invisible monitoring of of my expression.

It brings to my mind pieces from my voice’s history, and how it changed along the way.

Our voice has a history of its own

We were born with a particular, natural voice. It was the voice that uttered the first scream, the voice that uttered the first word. Or was the first word already a subtle adaptation perhaps, a way to model our parents?

As we grew up, our voice changed to express what we believed was the right expression in certain situations, with certain people, in any social context.

And perhaps,  just like there are some specific pathways in the brain that are created and then grow stronger as they are being used again and again, perhaps in similar way our physical voice connected stronger and stronger with certain roles we played, certain masks we wore, certain behaviors we believed were appropriate (even when they were inappropriate perhaps), certain areas in our bodies, certain shades of our energy.

Some people believe that in order to survive or thrive socially, they need to sound clever, or original. Others believe they need to sound calming, non-intrusive, weak even. Others, on the contrary, believe they need to sound authoritative. The list goes on and on.

I can find subtle shadows of any of it in myself as well – I’m not an exception of course,  I’m human…

And it’s part of my human journey to realize how these subtle, fine adjustments limited my  expression, and my ability to connect fully.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the price we’re paying

Whatever stands in the way of our true voice stands in the way of our most true connection with others

I became aware of these very subtle, habitual characteristics of my voice when I encountered a strong tension in my throat. As always when I encounter a challenge, I dived into it, trying to explore it openly. Somewhere along the way, I discovered a different voice, or a different way to relate with it. From somewhere deeper within my body and my heart.

I noticed that when I speak from that deeper place, there is no self-consciousness, there is no self-monitoring and no constriction. Most importantly, there is a deeper, more direct connection with my heart’s ultimate desire. Which is,  just to love. To love everyone. To love everything. To love unconditionally, with a child’s innocence.

It’s an innocence that so many of us have been either warned against, or have been made fun of, or have learned to fear and protect for any other good reason.

Changing, adapting our voice to what we subconsciously or consciously believed was required of us, was a way to protect our innocent heart. And with that, hiding our ultimate, direct connection with others.

But there comes a time on the spiritual journey when reconnecting with our true voice is as necessary as reconnecting with our true heart. So that we can speak our heart clearly, when we wish to.

The next level of our spiritual journey requires that heart and voice connection to be healed

Now, of course, what that “next level” is depends greatly on our spiritual journey.

For some people, there isn’t any immediate need to take that next step. Because the disconnect and the limitation is as subtle as it is, they can continue creating all the great things they’re creating, they can continue coaching and healing and teaching and it will still be tremendously helpful.

But since you’re still reading I assume there is a reason for that.

Perhaps your heart wants more of its innocence back. Perhaps your soul wants you to share and shine your light more fully. Perhaps, you sense that something is calling for you to go further and deeper.

Perhaps you’re ready to let go of these subtle yet deep adjustments and protective layers, in your voice, your heart, your being.

If so, in my experience this is not an easy transformation. It affects your entire life and it draws on your entire history. It’s subtle, but then again deep. It’s big.

Wherever you are on this journey, if I can be of any help, reach out to me. I’m here for you.

You see, the rather fortunate part of it is that I’m very much oriented towards sound, much much more than vision. Having played music for 40 years or so, including 20 years of creating music for healing and meditation, I have been blessed with an ability to sense the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of a voice. I’m not sure what to call it – intuitive hearing? – but I experience that a lot whenever I’m working with clients. We work over phone typically, so it’s quite fortunate to be able to have a deep experience and understanding of you this way, even if we’re not in the same room.

Awakening coaching

 

Enlightenment: Is it for everyone? Or just for the few chosen ones?

Enlightenment for everyone?! How provoking that sounds…

 

Get all the details of this new enlightenment journey here

Throughout most of my spiritual journey to me enlightenment meant: The complete, full, conscious embodiment of soul / spirit / higher consciousness.

Believing that, I had a rather specific picture of how that would look like. I would imagine someone  standing or moving in a most graceful sort of way, with an eternal smile on their lips, always saying and doing the right thing, endlessly loving, immersed in stillness even as they were speaking, emanating peace and joy and light…  It was the most desirable and most unattainable state I could think of.

So you can imagine how dangerous it felt when the word “enlightenment” became to show half way into the Lightworker Manual.

Even if the word was qualified as in  “we are providing ways to enter into a more enlightened or light-filled experience than ever before, for many more than ever before. It’s not because enlightenment is better or more perfect, it has nothing to do with such judgments. It’s because this is the course of the human evolution and it is a necessary development.”

Even knowing that, it still felt intimidating somehow. I felt like a fraud. Who were I to teach enlightenment? I would never ever call my very human self an enlightened being. I know myself too well for that. I know my imperfections. I am as human as anyone.

But then something started to happen. Such as the experience of sharing an energy that I didn’t know I was sharing.  And that wasn’t an isolated experience. More and more people are telling me that there is this light with me,  even when I’m unaware of it, even when I don’t try to open to it.

So I’m finally beginning to accept that it’s time we for us to redefine the word “enlightenment” rather than getting stuck in those old ideals, these perfect pictures that just keep us away from our actual possibilities.

Enlightenment is not a state, it is a process.

Enlightenment, as I choose to understand it now, is a process of opening to light more than ever before, an individual process and also a collective process for humanity as such. 

An enlightenment process rarely results in the full embodiment of light. It is not the full transformation, and it is not meant to be it either. What our times call for is a general expansion, enlightening more of our individual humanity, and enlightening the humanity as such.

How the enlightenment process feels

It does not feel like enlightenment, not to me. It feels like being  more at peace with life and people, having less reactions to whatever used to trigger me, having more access to joy, experiencing more harmony, more gratitude, more presence.

It’s not perfect, and I don’t expect it to ever become perfect. It’s just lighter and lighter and lighter, in every way.

What it takes for enlightenment to happen

The enlightenment process does require a certain level of energetical freedom so that the light can flow and glow.

It does require a certain alignment with one’s soul, for the same reason.

But it does not require that we become a living Buddha per se. Perhaps because we already are Buddha, even if we’re more or less oblivious to the fact. Buddhas in disguise. Souls pretending they are something else.

Enlightenment then means coming out of the hiding, bit by bit, and allowing that inherent Buddha nature of ours to shine, more and more, knowingly and unknowingly.

And, for that nature of us to show itself, we need to be open. Open to everything in us and everything outside of us. The more we can allow the light of consciousness to embrace any part of us, the more free that light can shine for others as well – even if we’re far from “fully enlightened”.

Can you travel the enlightenment road on your own?

Simple as it may sound, it really isn’t. We are complex beings and the journey can be challenging. It does take time and considerable commitment. And, it takes guidance from someone or something that is at least some steps ahead of where you are.

If you have all the guidance you need already and things are evolving just like you wanted them too, wonderful! But if not…

Enlightenment coaching

What does it take to shine your light?

For most of us, if we asked ourselves “What does it take to shine my light?” we’d probably come up with a list that is rather long as well as demanding. But is it true?

When attending Andrea Pennington’s Speak From The Heart workshop, I had an unexpected experience of what it really takes (and what not):

Another interesting insight I had about sharing your light was while I was (not) “killing time” in the London Underground and Heathrow Airport!

Thoughts? Experiences? Comments? Questions? Share them below!

Shine the way only you can

I had a spontaneous realization, a wonderful eye and heart and body opening experience. And I want you to have it too. Only I can’t do that kind of magic here (I might if we embark on a journey together). So I will try to share it with you the best way I can right now.  I hope the experience will shine through.  🙂

Facing the “less than”

Have you ever looked at someone and found yourself not only comparing, but simply having to acknowledge you’re less than them. No matter how positive you wanted to be, you’re just not that young, or that beautiful, or that fit, or that successful, or that eloquent, or that popular, or that spiritual, or that experienced, or that…

Trying to love in spite of it

Now being the conscious person that you are, perhaps you tried to do something about that negative view of yourself. Perhaps you, later, looked at yourself in the mirror and hoped that you would be pleasantly surprised. But there’s a limit how surprising it can get. You know yourself pretty well. And the person in the mirror  has same age, the same face, the same marks, visible or invisible, the same…

And perhaps you just do your very best to love the person that you see in the mirror, and really open your heart to her or him, and you promise yourself to genuintely love yourself… in spite of it all.

And that’s a great step on your self-loving journey.

But you see…

You cannot shine “in spite of it”

You cannot shine out of dedication to love yourself. Light doesn’t come through arranged marriages, you know. Not until love comes and throws all arrangements out the window!  😉

You’ve got to fall in love with yourself

For you to shine naturally, spontaneously, without even trying to, you’ve got to fall in love with yourself. Not in spite of what and who you are. Not even because of what and who you are. But for one reason only. Because you cannot not love yourself, you cannot not be thrilled by being human, and being you, and being you with everyone else just the way you are.

And if that’s difficult to feel right now, that’s Okay. But let me share this picture with you…

 

Imagine this Special Unit

Imagine a very special team with a very special task that will make all the difference that needs to be made. You know what a great honor it is to be part of that team. And you would do anything to be part of it. Anything!

You’re already dedicated yourself to it, with all your heart, body, mind and spirit, even before you know if you’ll ever get a chance. Everything in you is in alignment, wanting just one thing: being part of this team.

And you know how carefully they select those to be on the team. You know how everyone on the team is there for one reason only: Because of who they are. Exactly that age, that look, that set of capacities and, just as important, inadequacies. Those experiences, those failures, those wounds and scars, this weirdness, is exactly what is needed. Because the only way the team can fulfill its assignment is by everyone being themselves as much as they possibly can. Everyone shining their own unique beingness. If they don’t, the whole project is dead.

You know that. And you wait. And you wait. And then…

Your greatest dream ever comes true.

You hear your name

And it’s like you  hear it for the first time in your life. It’s the most beautiful sound in the world. It’s you!

And you step forward. Or if you’re in a wheelchair you wheel forward. And you look around. Or if you can’t see you listen around. And your heart is overflowing with joy.

And you love, love, love being you, here, now, with this team. This is what you have been wanting all your life. This. You. And this is what they’ve been wanting all their life. This. You. Here. With them.

And you shine

You shine proudly and generously, you shine everything that you are, right now, so perfectly you. Your age. Your shape, and form, and smell. Your feelings, all of them. Your thoughts, all of them. Your spirit. The. Infinite. You.

That’s it. That’s all you need to know. That’s all you need to be.

Oh, and the name of that special team, with that special assignment?

Is it Joy Keepers? Actually, no.
Is it Lightworkers? No.
It is:

HUMANITY.

Welcome to Humanity, my friend. And thank you, thank you so much for being YOU!

See the Light in any disguise

Isn’t the miracle of creation just breathtaking… It is way beyond words for sure. But then, I love words… So here are some words, some instructions of a sort:

Let’s take a walk on a busy street

Let’s notice all the people passing us by. Be present with them, be open. Try not to judge. Try to see them.

Let yourself be amazed by this unbelievable diversity.

Think about it: Whoever you see is Light, expressing itself in that particular way, in that particular human, in that particular life.

Light is this human, and then again it is so much more.

Just like the artist is her work and then again she is so much more.

If Light can express itself in all ways, then we can too.

So let’s take it a step further

See yourself in any and all of those passers-by. See yourself happy or sad, empty or full, friendly or not. See yourself in any costume, in any disguise.

What an abundant adventure it is, to be able to experience yourself in any look and in any mind, in any voice and in any feeling.

This is all you. This is all us.

My heart is overflowing. Is yours too? It must be. We are one.

Oneness is not just a pretty metaphor.

Oneness is all there is. It has always been, it will always be. Timeless and in this Earthly time.

See yourself in every expression it has.

You are free! So allow yourself to be anything and anyone, and allow others the same.

This is the art of the Light, and it’s been brought to life for a reason.

We cannot return to Light without returning to Life

Return to your feet, walking on this Earth.

Return to the inner Light, the way only you know it.

Return to your center and allow yourself to shine.

Stay as open as the Light you’re shining.

Shine the Light. Shine you. And wear any costume you like.

If you have trouble dealing with any negativity you may meet along the way

Finding Light Everywhere

The light in your voice

I’m sharing a personal experience below. But that’s not why I’m sharing it. This is about us, and our potential as Lightworkers and Joy Keepers. Oh, and it’s not about singing. 😉

The people who don’t come for words

It’s happened twice now. Someone listening to my videos, without having much interest in the content or even understanding the word and yet, listening in! And not just listening to one of these video, but to several of them. Why?

I mean these videos have no music, no pictures, no entertainment. It’s just me sharing whatever is in my mind, or heart, or in the Lightworkers Manual.

These people have said that they’re listening because they find my voice soothing, or  calming.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve received that response in the past as well. I’ve had people sign up to my coaching programs, and then telling me “It was something in your voice”. It wasn’t something I said, mind you. It was something in the voice itself.

And before that, wherever I worked (technical support, kindergarten, New Age shop) it was the same thing. “You are so calm”, they told me, “even when things get stressful.”

Now that wasn’t because I didn’t get affected by stress. I absolutely did. And it wasn’t because I experienced myself as calm or soothing. I actually didn’t.

And yet, apparently, without me trying (and often while I was trying to do something else), this calming, soothing energy somehow expressed itself, almost in spite of.

This is about you

Because you, my friend, are, most probably, in a similar situation. We all are. We are trying to say the right things. We are trying to do the right thing. We are trying to create the right relationships. We are trying to do the right work. And it is all good!

But underneath all that trying, with us hardly realizing it, something else is going on. Our light is shining through. It’s something so natural, so inherent to us that we’re not even aware of it.

Because, let’s face it, we want to be acknowledged for the things that we know, and say, and do. We’re working hard on those things. We’re trying to achieve something. Create something

What if our potential is not just where we think it is?

But what if, asides of those things (which we by all means must and will continue doing)… What if our potential is also in the things that we don’t say, and don’t know, and don’t do? What if it’s in the sound of our voice, or in the look of our eyes, or in the touch of our hands, or just in our sheer presence? What if that’s what it will take to make the changes we want to see in this world?

Do you have any such experiences yourself? Either in your role as giver or receiver? Share them in the comments below!