Awakening your forgotten heart and voice

What is your true, original, authentic voice? Have you ever wondered?

When you talk with other people, whether they’re friends or strangers, or when you teach, speak on stage, in a podcast, on video…

In a sense, it always is – simply because “you” is a very large container for countless versions of you, for all the facets of the diamond of your personality, changing as it turns  around.

Just like you seem to change depending on the situation, so does your voice change, depending on who you are in that moment and who you speak with or to.

Your voice has been changing this way all your life.

In fact, some of the ways in which it has been changing are so deeply ingrained in you that no one experiences them as anything less than you. Not even you.

We have a habitual relationship with our voice

We are so used to the voice that we know, we’re hardly aware that it’s not what it once was

I’ve been noticing that too, with my own voice. Not because my voice has been artificial as such, or false. On the contrary, I’ve been told times and times again that I appear authentic no matter who I’m with.

I’ve been noticing these  subtle changes nevertheless, because there is a certain energy that more and more needs to be expressed through my voice more directly, without me coming in the way. And so I’m finding the ways in which I have indeed been coming in the way.

I became more aware of the very subtle ways in which I’ve been trying to control how my expression might affect others. It’s not a conscious, “Am I nice enough? Polite enough? Pleasing enough? Intelligent enough?” And yet there is this wordless, invisible monitoring of of my expression.

It brings to my mind pieces from my voice’s history, and how it changed along the way.

Our voice has a history of its own

We were born with a particular, natural voice. It was the voice that uttered the first scream, the voice that uttered the first word. Or was the first word already a subtle adaptation perhaps, a way to model our parents?

As we grew up, our voice changed to express what we believed was the right expression in certain situations, with certain people, in any social context.

And perhaps,  just like there are some specific pathways in the brain that are created and then grow stronger as they are being used again and again, perhaps in similar way our physical voice connected stronger and stronger with certain roles we played, certain masks we wore, certain behaviors we believed were appropriate (even when they were inappropriate perhaps), certain areas in our bodies, certain shades of our energy.

Some people believe that in order to survive or thrive socially, they need to sound clever, or original. Others believe they need to sound calming, non-intrusive, weak even. Others, on the contrary, believe they need to sound authoritative. The list goes on and on.

I can find subtle shadows of any of it in myself as well – I’m not an exception of course,  I’m human…

And it’s part of my human journey to realize how these subtle, fine adjustments limited my  expression, and my ability to connect fully.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the price we’re paying

Whatever stands in the way of our true voice stands in the way of our most true connection with others

I became aware of these very subtle, habitual characteristics of my voice when I encountered a strong tension in my throat. As always when I encounter a challenge, I dived into it, trying to explore it openly. Somewhere along the way, I discovered a different voice, or a different way to relate with it. From somewhere deeper within my body and my heart.

I noticed that when I speak from that deeper place, there is no self-consciousness, there is no self-monitoring and no constriction. Most importantly, there is a deeper, more direct connection with my heart’s ultimate desire. Which is,  just to love. To love everyone. To love everything. To love unconditionally, with a child’s innocence.

It’s an innocence that so many of us have been either warned against, or have been made fun of, or have learned to fear and protect for any other good reason.

Changing, adapting our voice to what we subconsciously or consciously believed was required of us, was a way to protect our innocent heart. And with that, hiding our ultimate, direct connection with others.

But there comes a time on the spiritual journey when reconnecting with our true voice is as necessary as reconnecting with our true heart. So that we can speak our heart clearly, when we wish to.

The next level of our spiritual journey requires that heart and voice connection to be healed

Now, of course, what that “next level” is depends greatly on our spiritual journey.

For some people, there isn’t any immediate need to take that next step. Because the disconnect and the limitation is as subtle as it is, they can continue creating all the great things they’re creating, they can continue coaching and healing and teaching and it will still be tremendously helpful.

But since you’re still reading I assume there is a reason for that.

Perhaps your heart wants more of its innocence back. Perhaps your soul wants you to share and shine your light more fully. Perhaps, you sense that something is calling for you to go further and deeper.

Perhaps you’re ready to let go of these subtle yet deep adjustments and protective layers, in your voice, your heart, your being.

If so, in my experience this is not an easy transformation. It affects your entire life and it draws on your entire history. It’s subtle, but then again deep. It’s big.

Wherever you are on this journey, if I can be of any help, reach out to me. I’m here for you.

You see, the rather fortunate part of it is that I’m very much oriented towards sound, much much more than vision. Having played music for 40 years or so, including 20 years of creating music for healing and meditation, I have been blessed with an ability to sense the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of a voice. I’m not sure what to call it – intuitive hearing? – but I experience that a lot whenever I’m working with clients. We work over phone typically, so it’s quite fortunate to be able to have a deep experience and understanding of you this way, even if we’re not in the same room.

Awakening coaching

 

Enlightenment: Is it for everyone? Or just for the few chosen ones?

Enlightenment for everyone?! How provoking that sounds…

 

Get all the details of this new enlightenment journey here

Throughout most of my spiritual journey to me enlightenment meant: The complete, full, conscious embodiment of soul / spirit / higher consciousness.

Believing that, I had a rather specific picture of how that would look like. I would imagine someone  standing or moving in a most graceful sort of way, with an eternal smile on their lips, always saying and doing the right thing, endlessly loving, immersed in stillness even as they were speaking, emanating peace and joy and light…  It was the most desirable and most unattainable state I could think of.

So you can imagine how dangerous it felt when the word “enlightenment” became to show half way into the Lightworker Manual.

Even if the word was qualified as in  “we are providing ways to enter into a more enlightened or light-filled experience than ever before, for many more than ever before. It’s not because enlightenment is better or more perfect, it has nothing to do with such judgments. It’s because this is the course of the human evolution and it is a necessary development.”

Even knowing that, it still felt intimidating somehow. I felt like a fraud. Who were I to teach enlightenment? I would never ever call my very human self an enlightened being. I know myself too well for that. I know my imperfections. I am as human as anyone.

But then something started to happen. Such as the experience of sharing an energy that I didn’t know I was sharing.  And that wasn’t an isolated experience. More and more people are telling me that there is this light with me,  even when I’m unaware of it, even when I don’t try to open to it.

So I’m finally beginning to accept that it’s time we for us to redefine the word “enlightenment” rather than getting stuck in those old ideals, these perfect pictures that just keep us away from our actual possibilities.

Enlightenment is not a state, it is a process.

Enlightenment, as I choose to understand it now, is a process of opening to light more than ever before, an individual process and also a collective process for humanity as such. 

An enlightenment process rarely results in the full embodiment of light. It is not the full transformation, and it is not meant to be it either. What our times call for is a general expansion, enlightening more of our individual humanity, and enlightening the humanity as such.

How the enlightenment process feels

It does not feel like enlightenment, not to me. It feels like being  more at peace with life and people, having less reactions to whatever used to trigger me, having more access to joy, experiencing more harmony, more gratitude, more presence.

It’s not perfect, and I don’t expect it to ever become perfect. It’s just lighter and lighter and lighter, in every way.

What it takes for enlightenment to happen

The enlightenment process does require a certain level of energetical freedom so that the light can flow and glow.

It does require a certain alignment with one’s soul, for the same reason.

But it does not require that we become a living Buddha per se. Perhaps because we already are Buddha, even if we’re more or less oblivious to the fact. Buddhas in disguise. Souls pretending they are something else.

Enlightenment then means coming out of the hiding, bit by bit, and allowing that inherent Buddha nature of ours to shine, more and more, knowingly and unknowingly.

And, for that nature of us to show itself, we need to be open. Open to everything in us and everything outside of us. The more we can allow the light of consciousness to embrace any part of us, the more free that light can shine for others as well – even if we’re far from “fully enlightened”.

Can you travel the enlightenment road on your own?

Simple as it may sound, it really isn’t. We are complex beings and the journey can be challenging. It does take time and considerable commitment. And, it takes guidance from someone or something that is at least some steps ahead of where you are.

If you have all the guidance you need already and things are evolving just like you wanted them too, wonderful! But if not…

Enlightenment coaching

What does it take to shine your light?

For most of us, if we asked ourselves “What does it take to shine my light?” we’d probably come up with a list that is rather long as well as demanding. But is it true?

When attending Andrea Pennington’s Speak From The Heart workshop, I had an unexpected experience of what it really takes (and what not):

Another interesting insight I had about sharing your light was while I was (not) “killing time” in the London Underground and Heathrow Airport!

Thoughts? Experiences? Comments? Questions? Share them below!

Spiritual surrender and the Lightworker journey

What is the meaning of spiritual surrender? That’s what this final chapter of the Lightworker Manual addresses – but then again, it doesn’t! The chapter itself is a process of surrender, and the concept of surrender can be easily misunderstood…. Listen in!

On a very general note, there are (at least) 3 ways to experience spiritual surrender:

  • As a once and for all radical decision, similar to Michael Singer’s journey as described in The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection
  • As ad hoc, case by case choices that we make in any specific situation
  • As a natural unfoldment of consciousness (like the different presence experiences I’m sharing in the video above).

Are you ready to embark on your own journey through the Lightworker Manual and become  the joyful and impactful Lightworker that you were meant to be? You can now pre-register for the upcoming Lightworker Group Coaching program here.

Shine your Light.
Amplify your impact.
Joyfully and effortlessly,
Change the world.
Together.

What stands in the way of love? (19)

We are born as an expression of pure Love. It’s very simple. But then we develop this very complicated relationship with love…

Just to give you an impression, below are some of the states/experiences that come in the way of our love.  I get much more personal and there’s more to learn as well in the video though. So don’t  settle for the few words below. 😉

Shame

Shame makes us distance ourselves from our love and our heart. Guilt and shame can be of things we have experienced or done and judge. And, shame can leads us back to our naked, innocent heart:

Anger

Makes us push against and reject – it’s a very different energy than love’s natural receptivity. It’s a natural reaction to the ways we have been held back. And, anger can become love’s ally and the power that enables that naked heart to express itself in the world fearlessly. But first we have to deal with…

Fear

Fear has so many faces, expressions and reasons… fear of losing control, fear of having no boundaries, fear of being judged for loving the wrong people (including the very wrong people indeed). And, if you go deep enough into the energy of fear, it will take you directly to joy and love.

But how do we remove those blocks?

There are many ways, and the one that has worked best for me is the SEE Approach. I share the basics of it in the video, and we go deeper with it when we work individually or in groups. To explore current options for you to open more to the love that you are, explore Lightworker offers here

Journey of a Lightworker – can you relate?

journey of a lightworkerI was asked to write about my life as a journey of a Lightworker. What an assignment… how do you compress your life into one page? And where do you start?

The answer came the other day. I had a beautifully easy and yet deeply transformative experience, working with my go-to coach, Frances. Lately, our conversations have evolved around confidence, as at this stage of my version of the journey of a Lightworker committing to a very big project, there is an urgent need to address anything that might come into the way of the work.

Anyhow, as our conversation was coming to a happy end, I felt such an immense sense of gratitude, not only for this particular process, but for my entire life… Who would have thought it would turn out this way?

It has not been the easiest journey a human can experience, to say the least. That’s true for most Lightworkers, I believe.

I have a sense (and my mother has confirmed it in a way) that my first months on Earth were lived in pure bliss – a constant state of love overflowing my heart and my world from within. It didn’t last long. Instead, life started to happen, the way it does and must.

I was blessed with loving and highly idealistic parents. And also parents that were deeply traumatized by experiences that they shared with so many other Jews during and also after world war II. They and with them our small family and I lived in a space of unresolved fear and grief and, as a result, some dysfunctional behavior. Being the sensitive soul that I was, in spite of my natural tendency towards joy and love, it affected me deeply.

Since I was a little girl, wherever there was suffering and injustice, I reacted, strongly. With sorrow or with anger, and sometimes both. I couldn’t not react. Can you relate?

It didn’t make things any easier when we moved to another country (when I was 7 and 16 respectively). It meant losing everything: friends, language, identity, a sense of belonging and eventually my naturally joyful and trusting personality.

And so, even if I embarked on a personal and spiritual growth journey early (at age 18), and even if that was a tremendous help in many ways, even if I did have some friends and some lovers along the way, and even if I had my creativity, my spiritual practice and work, waves of utmost loneliness have been part of my life until my early 40s.

At that point – after yet another instance of broken heart and during yet another wave of deep despair– it finally dawned on me:

My life apparently wasn’t going to bring me the love that my heart yearned for. And since I couldn’t live without love (who can?), there was only one thing for me to do – to love myself instead. In mid-90s this was quite a lonely discovery, actually. The internet was still very new (I did not even have a computer) and the self-love awareness that we have today was nowhere to be seen.

Lonely as it may have been, the realization changed my life forever. As I somehow learned to find love within and eventually and literally fell in love with myself, everything in my life transformed.

Within a few months I met a soul-mate, my creative and spiritual work began to unfold in new ways entirely, and I found myself living with a sense of joy and fulfillment that I didn’t even know was possible.

By then my  role as coach/teacher/healer started has been unfolding for 10 years or so, but now many more people started to reach out to me for help and advice – typically people that have been on a spiritual journey for a while and felt lost and stuck nevertheless.

That said, I neither called nor saw myself as a Lightworker. When I encountered the term first time, many years ago, it seemed like something overly esoteric,  and I couldn’t relate to it at all. As engaged as I am in spirituality, I’m also a very down to Earth person in a sense. I resonate with grounded, loving, joyful clarity. Complex esoteric theories – not so much.

It is the irony and sweetness of life that it will take us where we need to be, whether we may think we resonate or not. And so the day came (or rather weeks and months) when I was taken on yet another deep journey and was given a process and teaching that I ended up calling… the Lightworker Manual. Fortunately, by then I had grown a different relationship or awareness of what a Lightworker is and what we’re here for.

And that brings me to an important question:

How can I support you on your journey of a Lightworker – and your journey as such?

The answer to that question is work in progress, in the most literal sense. Or maybe works in progress, as there are more than one ways. Take a look below, and see what speaks to you.

A moment in a Lightworker’s life

Thoughtless
Present
Mind at peace.
Eyes watching hands
Hand holding knife
Knife cutting carrots
Love seeing itself in the carrot, the knife, the hand, the eyes, the mind
Love overflowing this and all there is
While my human body
Skillfully creates the simplest of meals
Love soup


Later, mind comes back
With the simplest of wishes:
This Love beingness
Being
Earth tomorrow

From the dark night of the soul to a Lightworker job

Many years ago, I came to a place on my spiritual  journey that you could call the dark night of the soul. Even if it was me buried in darkness, not my soul at all. 🙂

It wasn’t depression, it wasn’t loneliness, it wasn’t despair or anything like that. It was an experience of being in darkness without a light, without a compass, without any sense of direction whatsoever.

You could call it disillusionment of a kind, a need to ditch absolutely everything I ever learned about the true nature of things. And then to find the real thing.

No spiritual dogma, belief, theory, practice could be trusted. My spiritual foundation (and with that the very meaning of my life) had fallen apart, had dissolved.

The only thing I was certain about was that there was nothing and no one in the outside world that could help me find my way again. Not even the most enlightened teachers or books could show me the truth. How would I even know if it was true or not?

And truth was what I needed. Truth as such, the truth that you can depend on and base your life on, no matter what.

In short, I was desperate for light and there was none to be found. And so all I could do was surrender to darkness.

As I did, and without expecting anything at all, at some point (was it hours? days? I don’t recall), I had a sudden glimpse of deep in-sight. An almost wordless glimpse of light, you could say. And then another glimpse, and another.

These glimpses were born from such a deep place and were so fragile at the same time, that I wasn’t quite sure whether I have finally found my inner, living truth or whether I was just making it all up.

Maybe it was that fear of losing my sanity that made me reach out for a book after all. It was “A Thousand Names for Joy” by Byron Katie.

At that point I was familiar with The Work (which never quite worked for me, and still doesn’t),  but this book was different.  Reading small bits and pieces there I found – and what a strange experience that was – the exact words for the truth that I had just experienced within.

If I was going insane then at least there were two of us. And there was nothing about Byron Katie that seemed insane.

She didn’t teach me anything and I know she didn’t attempt to either. But her words gave me some sort of reassurance, and just enough courage to stick to the truth that I had found within and to build on that. This truth of mine has been my solid, evolving foundation ever since. I share it gladly. I know I can trust it.

Now, I’m not like Byron Katie at all. I’m like most of us extraordinary ordinary humans. I have my share of limitations, insecurities, imbalances, forgetfulness… you name it and I can find it in me for sure. I imagine that this is quite true for you too.  🙂

But that doesn’t change the fact that truth and joy and love and light flow through us and want to be expressed and shared as fully as we will let them!

That’s all there is to our “job” as Lightworkers. To be who we are, to be a loving, living, joyful, imperfect reminder of our truth. 🙂

If you want to explore how I can support your unfoldment as your living truth, check out current Lightworker offers here.

Building a Field of Love

I needed to watch this wonderful, old movie again, “Field of Dreams” it’s called (28 years have passed since I’ve seen it the first time? Really?).  I needed to see what happened there, and how. Because it feels like I  and so many of us these days, are called to build in a similar way. Even if it’s a different field – a field of Love, or a field of Joy

It’s good to be reminded not only of how the human adventure (and this particular type of adventure even more so) is hardly ever a straight path to a well-defined destination. Like in the film, it’s but a distant voice (or your heart) calling, it’s a hint more than a manual (even if a manual may emerge further down the road).

And yet, vague as it may be, we follow the calling. How can we not follow it when it is so persistent and the need in the world is so evident…

Follow we do, and along the way we gain a little more clarity on what it is there we’re asked to build… And that’s when things begin to feel overwhelming! Because we’re asked to build something we have never created before, at a scale that we would never even consider.

“Why me”? we wonder. Why, among all the people in the world, should I be  the one to do this? Surely there are plenty of other people who are far more suited for something like this…

Perhaps because it’s a gift. This challenge, this quest might well be life’s most generous gift to us!

For what a gift it is, to get to work in this field of love, this field of creativity, this field of joy, this field of passion. To get to surrender to it, no matter how terrifying it may seem at times. To build it gladly, fiercely, passionately, with all our heart and all the strength that we can muster. To build it brick by brick…

And to say yes to the greatness of it and the greatness that has been living in us and has been hiding from us.

In this time of titanic challenges, environmental, social and political, the world needs us to come out of hiding and help the deep transformations that must happen, now!

Unbelievable as it may seem at times, this is what is unfolding, this is the calling, and this is the journey ahead. This is how we overcome fear and doubt, this is how we move through difficult transformations of our own and this is how we find ourselves at last, as we find each other, in new ways.

As we change the world changes, and it becomes a Field of Love.

 

JOYful living in challenging times (18)

What is Joy?

We use the word in many different ways. Here, in the Lightworker Manual it refers to the essential feeling of who we are. In other words, joy is the most natural feeling in the world.

And yet, natural it may be,  we spend much of our time not feeling it, and when we feel it, we don’t feel it fully. How come?

This (18th) presentation of the Lightworker Manual sheds some some light on that, and also proposes ways to bring more Joy into our lives. Listen in!

5 ways to bring more Joy into our lives

I explain more about each of the approaches & projects in the video, but wanted to share an overview with you here as well:

1. Shift your focus from problems to joy

We are problem-solution oriented or even fixated. In doing so, we not only limit our ability to resolve them, but also the Joy that is our birthright

2. Add Joy everywhere

Whatever you do – and even when you don’t do anything – add Joy to the experience. Open to the Joy that is within you already. And, allow yourself to be playful too!

3. Become a Joy Ambassador

Even if we all live in the land of heaviness aka the challenging human experience, we’re more than that. We all come from the same source as our Joy. Practice living as an ambassador of  Joy – connecting and engaging in life and also representing and with that reminding others of Joy as our home

4. Join the Lightworker Group Program

This is the program that will take you beyond the inspirations found in the Lightworker Manual and into a transformational group process where we support each other in embodying Joy (and much more).

5. Join the Joy Keepers Networks

If you’re a spiritual leader, coach, teacher or healer this network is for you!
It will help you bring and maintain more Joy into your own life as well as the life of others – potentially even humanity as a whole.

Share your experiences, insights and questions about Joy below!