Transformation In Nowhere Land

Easter is a time of transformation.

It is so symbolically, historically, and most of us can feel it energetically as well. I see it in my life, in the lives of my clients, of people I know, of friends… There is a dying and there is a renewal. There are old structures falling apart and something new is showing up. And sometimes you can experience that it in a sense happens all at the same time.

There are perhaps aspects of your life that seem to fall apart and other aspects that already are rising. And it can be a weird feeling.

And another feeling that can be weird is the feeling that I noticed or have been noticing for a little while but I dove into yesterday. I was doing “my creative hour”: Each day I take an hour to just be in creative flow. It’s not for work, it’s not for projects, it’s not for anything it’s just to let creativity flow.

The empty space and beyond

The experience I’d like to share that I hope will resonate and  somehow inspire you is this: While I was writing about it, there was a feeling of being in an empty space, an empty space to explore, and empty space where something new can grow but without any “marching orders”. Just an empty space.

But at the same time there was the feeling, the vision that I was in that big space but on the horizon of it there was a lot happening. It was almost the opposite of the space I felt I was in. There was a lot of activity, a lot of energy, a lot of movement. Whereas in that moment where I was writing I was in a space where there was no movement and not much energy really and just kind of stillness.

It is all One

And then I looked out of the window and I saw a tree, and then I saw some other trees, and then I saw birds, houses, people… And I had this beautiful experience that all of this is happening at the same time. And that we are all One, with all of this that is happening at the same time.

And what it really means is that we may at times focus on the emptiness, or on the movement, or on the death, or on the rebirth… But all of it is happening at the same time! And it is all part of us. We just kind of move our focus from one thing to another. And when I “not think” about it (because it is not thinking)… but when I get this feeling of this richness of life that is happening even as death is happening… Even as things are falling apart, something else is growing up. And the fact that it’s all happening at the same time and it is really all one and it is really all connected, and it is really all you and me…

For some reason that fills me with such a sense of beauty, with such a sense of love, with such a sense of gratitude for the richness of life. Even as it is dying. Even as it is weird. Even if we don’t understand what it is yet. Even if we don’t have a sense of direction in that moment. Even if our circumstances are changing and we don’t know how. There is such a richness and such a beauty to it.

You are on your path

It is a place in consciousness. It is not a chaotic place, non matte how chaotic it looks. There is really a deeper wisdom and a deeper guidance and a deeper leadership happening and leading us and taking us where we are meant to go. One step at a time, and sometimes by standing still and sometimes even by going backwards. It doesn’t matter which, it’s still the same path and it is created for us and we are supported on it .

And so there is joy in knowing that and there is faith in knowing that and I just wanted to share that joy with you and share that love with you and share that faith with you. That knowing that wherever you are, wherever you go, even when you don’t know where you go, you are right on your path, you are right on your way where your heart really longs to be.

The SEE Approach is my preferred tool for transformation. It is simple yet powerful. And it’s waiting for you here.

If you prefer to work with me individually instead, tell me why here.

~ ~ ~

Image by JodesJ from Pixabay

And then it happens – equanimity

And then it happens. The things we have heard about and read about happen. And it looks as we saw it described, but it feels differently. Because now we’re not at a distance from it, now it is in the life we live. Some places fires are burning. Some places people are attacking other people. Some places relationships as we knew them are dying.

That which was is falling apart. That which we wait for and know to come, hasn’t appeared yet.

And we are changing too. Somehow, we cannot quite recognize ourselves anymore.

We’re in unknown territory where indecision rules. Which way to turn? What to do? How to be in it for ourselves, and for those we care about, and for the world?

Perhaps the answer is to stay in indecision in a sense. Embrace the pain of the dying.  Remember that rebirth is inevitable. And stay in equanimity.

Play the role that you have come here to play. And stay in touch with that which never dies and is never born. Allow the greatness in you to express itself through you now, more than before.

Be the agent of the progress that is taking place. Be the Truth Keeper. Be the Love Keeper. Be the Joy Keeper.

Be You!

~ ~ ~

Image borrowed from BBC

Joy and oneness – the beginning of our awakening journey

Joy and oneness is what a baby feelsFrom a certain perspective, the journey of awakening happens through 8 stages. Today, let’s talk about the first of them, our very beginning as human beings. And that means, our first actual experience of love, joy and oneness.

Even if it may not have lasted long we’ve had that experience already! In this way awakening is  not really a journey into the unknown (even if it certainly can feel like it). It is a journey of re-discovery, of homecoming. Because…

The journey began with a natural state of love, joy and oneness.

At first the idea might seem like just another theory.  I mean, how many of us can remember how it felt to be a baby? Who can confirm that joy and oneness was there at all?

Almost none, you might say. But then, perhaps we do remember without quite realizing it? Here’s how I came to remember and how the memory has been confirmed by my late mother (whose loving and supportive soul I am eternally grateful for today)…

There’s a transcript of the video at the end of this article.

Okay, you might say, but…

How do we know that love, joy and oneness is something we all experienced, not just some of us?

I cannot prove it. But there is an experience which most of us have had and which does confirm it in a way.

If you’ve ever been near a baby (provided it’s fundamental needs have been taken care of), the peace and calm joy emanating from it cannot but affect you. You get a sense of the state the baby is in.

I believe it happens because we all have that peaceful, joyful space within us.  It’s where we all come from. Otherwise it wouldn’t resonate within us as deeply as it actually does.

In fact, for most people, being near a young child is the most direct way to get an immediate experience of love, joy and oneness.

It is part of who we are, it’s in our spiritual DNA.

It is still within us, even if we rarely have an immediate access to it.

We all come from that state of joy and oneness. But then, life happens. Separation happens.  Pain happens. We have all been kicked out of our paradise. That we remember.

What we don’t necessarily fully realize that it happens for a reason. I’ll be sharing much more about it. For now, let me reassure that the inner paradise is  still there within us. And we can indeed find our way back there.

Not all at once, typically, but gradually, along the awakening road. It is a rich, complex and sometimes tremendously challenging journey. But we don’t walk it alone. We have all kinds of helpful people and tools to support us along the way.

The SEE Approach is one such tool. It is simple yet powerful. And it’s waiting for you here.

If you prefer to work with me individually instead, tell me why here.

~ ~ ~

Below is a transcript from the video:

It’s a sunny day long time ago, I’m only 16. We’re on vacation, my mother brother and I. Except, it’s not a vacation. We’re away from home so that our father can pack our things because we are to leave Poland as stateless refugees.

The entire family is like a wandering break-down. I’m 16 and I hate all of it. My mother and I fight all the time and this is one of those fights. I don’t even know what the fight is about, I just know that everything is wrong. In the midst of it she says to me:

“You know, Halina, when you were a little baby, you would wake up smiling and you would fall asleep smiling.  What happened to you?“

I don’t know what she is talking about. All I hear is that she’s blaming me, I cannot be me, she doesn’t understand. That’s how it is.

Then life happens and times goes by. I go through therapy, healing and what not.

And now I’m at one of those retreats. We’re being guided back to the first memory in this life.

I go deeper and deeper and deeper, not expecting anything. And all of a sudden…

I know that I’m this little baby, I don’t have words yet. But I don’t feel like a little baby. I feel like endless love, and endless joy and whoever is in my vision is me, and I am them, and that love just flows, there’s nothing else.

And then… I’m being talked back to reality and there I realize that what my mother told me was true.

I was born into a field of love and joy and oneness. We all were. This is who we are. It still lives within us, in this very moment. And there is a way back there.

~ ~ ~

Image by freestocks-photos from Pixabay

Awakening through the 8 stages of the human journey

Pain To Joy 8 Stages

John Lennon’s beautiful “Imagine” is like an awakening song for the entire world. By now, most of us have heard it and know it well. 

You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one”

What you may not know is that before John Lennon was able to sing those words, he had to move through an entirely different stage. During that he sang (in “God”)

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain”

I don’t agree!… yet it is strikes a chord of something, doesn’t it.  We all know pain. We’ve known it since forever.

As children we just tried to survive it, to cope

Later, as adults, it led us to questioning. 

“Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to suffer? If there is a God why does She~He~It let me suffer like this? Can I bring the suffering to an end, once and for all? How?”

How we respond to these questions defines perhaps how we relate not only to pain but to life as such. It defines our path and how we walk it. The awakening path.

From pain to joy: the awakening journey as seen from above

I’m currently writing a book about this journey. Maybe it’s my way of responding to the questions above… Or a way to ask more questions. We will see!

Quite to my surprise, the book led me into what I now see as 8 stages of the human journey.

While most people are not aware of these stages, and some will call them other names and numbers, we move through these stages nevertheless. And not necessarily seamlessly.

I suspect that moving from one stage to the next is quite a challenge for most. Each time we move from one stage to the next…

It’s like moving through mysterious gates.

As we pass a gate, we find ourselves in unknown territory. In that new territory we cannot quite use the experience we gathered before we crossed the gate.

Also, there can be is a sense of loss, of going it alone.  We rarely cross a gate together. More often than not some of the people that were our companions on a previous stage of the journey don’t follow us to the next stage. 

What we can do though is find support from people that have traveled here before us and who can SEE a path through it.

This all does sound quite mysterious, doesn’t it. But perhaps if we take a look at each of these stages it becomes a bit more concrete. 

Forgive me for making it so brief. There will be so much more insight, nuances and inspiration in the book (with the working title “Awakening To Joyful Living”). For now, I hope the overview below will give you a sense of it.

Stage 1: Love, joy and oneness

As newborn babies we have a strong sense of our oneness, of our endlessly loving and joyful nature. But then, pretty quickly, life happens and we lose most of it. It feels like we get pushed (and sometimes kicked) out of paradise.

Stage 2: Into separation

It happens through wounds and traumas, it happens through upbringing and cultural influence, and it happens because it’s meant to happen.

It happens through energetical and emotional cuts. They separate us from our oneness, from our source, from ourselves and everyone else.

The gate of separation is deep, and it is painful.

Stage 3: Fighting the pain

Most of us don’t understand where that pain really comes from. We experience it each in our unique ways, we relate it to our personal stories and we give it all kinds of names, including loneliness, fear, depression, unworthiness and more.

What we have in common is that we try to fight the pain the best we can. We try to find relief. We search for solutions.

And solutions we find. But they’re never sufficient, or they’re sufficient but only for a limited time. They can only take us so far. And then we’re stuck. Stuck with pain.

Sometimes, it makes us want to give up living altogether.

But then something completely unexpected happens and we find ourselves moving through a very different gate.

Stage 4: Divine intervention

It’s a miracle . A glimpse of unbelievable grace. A divine intervention reminding us that life is bigger than our pain, and that we’re not alone.

An awakening begins to happen.

Yet for most of us it doesn’t last. It comes in glimpses and we never know if and when it will come back. 

But then again the very fact that we’ve seen the magic happen gives us a sense of possibility and a sense of direction. In fact, it leads us to the next gate.

Stage 5: Making peace with life

Having experienced that miracles exist, that God~Source~Spirit (or whatever other concept works for you) exists, and that life therefore must be what it is for a reason (even if we don’t necessarily understand what that reason is), we are now motivated to make peace with life as is. To love life even, more and more.

But we cannot stay there forever. At some point the time comes to encounter a very different gate…

Stage 6: Making peace with death

For many people, the journey through this and the remaining gates/stages happens very quickly – sometimes within minutes even.

For some of us, however, it takes many, many years.  

Frans of Assisi didn’t call it awakening. He said:

“It is in dying that we are born to eternal life”.

Sooner or later we have to make peace not only with life but also with death.

We make peace with death is to willingly surrender our ego~persona~human identity to The Bigger, to the Soul~God~Source~Universe~Spirit…

At some point of that process we cross yet another gate…

Stage 7: Reuniting with the One

Our awakening intensifies into a direct knowing ourselves as the One.  God~Soul~Source is no longer a concept. It’s more than a heart connection, and the feeling is different from devotion.

It can be experienced as a deep energy alignment, affecting all aspects of our existence, from the cells of our body to the way we feel, think, relate, work, and simply are. It’s powerfully liberating. 

During this stage the journey is all about an increasing unification with our Oneness while at the same time living a fairly normal human life.

In Meister Eckhart’s words:

“The eye through which I see God is the same eye through God sees me. My eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love”

And then, at some point, it’s time to cross the last gate of the human journey:

Stage 8: The End

This is the only stage that I haven’t entered yet (it would be impossible for me to write this if I had!…), but that’s the sense I get of the 8th stage: it is the Grand Finale. Although to be continued in another dimension.

None of us is there yet. Now, it is all about living and journeying. And for that:

Three important keys to the journey from pain to joy

Having painted a journey with the 8 gates and stages, there are 3 things that are super important to understand:

1.       Life is not a school. It is a journey that you are making for and with God~Oneness. Wherever you are on this journey, you are there because your Soul~Higher Self ~Source wants to experience that exact gate and stage of the journey, through you and at this exact time. Where you are right now is perfect! and one gate/stage is not better than the other, in any way.

2.      Each gate/stage has its own set of challenges and its own ways of meeting those challenges, its own set of tools so to speak. Most (but not all) of the tools and approaches that are helpful during one stage of the journey are not what is working best on another stage.

3.      You are not the journey. You are not any of the gates or stages. You are the traveler experiencing them, the dreamer dreaming them and gradually awakening from your dream while still dreaming it. You are the One. You are Love. You are Peace. You are Light. You are Joy.

Wherever you are there’s support for your journey

There is, always, support from your Soul~God. In this sense you never ever travel through life alone. And, there are also people out there to support you along the way, and tools and modalities that you can use to move forward.

One of the few tools that I found helpful throughout most stages of the journey is the SEE Approach. Learn about it here.

If you prefer to work with me individually, tell me why here.

~~~

Image by JL G from Pixabay

Spiritual Bypass: Are we awakening or avoiding?

Are we awakening or avoiding? Knowing the difference between “spiritual bypass” and actual awakening makes all the difference!

But first a definition according to Wikipedia: “A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”.

Here’s the invitation mentioned in the video.

Why I hesitated to even speak about spiritual bypass

I have been wanting to share this for a couple of days now but I was kind of pushing it away and hesitating. I wasn’t sure how to communicate this. I didn’t want to say it in a way that could be misunderstood. But I guess the only way out is through it. So here it goes…

As you may know I have been speaking a lot about joy and awakening, for a long time, and it is one voice among many, many others speaking about the evolution of our times, the human evolution and us as humanity stepping into a higher frequency and higher level of consciousness. Which is wonderful and beautiful, obviously.

And, there are some challenges that come along with that greater expansion, challenges that we may not be aware of. Spiritual bypass is one such challenge

I want to share with you my own experience with that because I don’t want you to think that I’m just preaching what we should and should not do. On the contrary, everything I say is based on my own experience.

My personal experience of spiritual bypass

I had one such experience quite recently. And it was such a great learning experience,  actually.

A little bit of a backstory

I spent the first 40 years of my life struggling with loneliness really badly. It was very painful and really difficult. At some point I hit the proverbial rock bottom — and in that moment I actually experienced an awakening. An awakening that didn’t last but an awakening nevertheless that then helped me embark on the next stage of the journey. From there I was able to discover a way of meeting my pain with love and transform it more and more and more (learn more about that experience here)

Eventually, coming from a place where I was struggling with loneliness in spite of doing all kinds of inner work, healing, mediation and therapy and what not, I was able to reach the place where I am today: where there is daily joy and there has been so much expansion… life has become pretty beautiful!

Encountering shadows of attachment

One of the things that I’ve been working with for quite a while in the recent year or so has been attachment. I’ve done some deep work with that. As a result it seems that the core of it, the main part of it I was able to transform. And, I’m still meeting shadows of it.

The way I’ve been experiencing it lately is that, because my access to soul connection, to joy, to love, to light has become so natural… What I have been doing recently and noticing that I do is that when I experience some sort of attachment I then immediately re-balance. In the sense that I immediately go back to the joy and the light, as much as I can.  It’s like the natural thing to do, right? You see imbalance and then you go back to balance, again and again…

I’ve been doing it for a little while and then, at some point while speaking about my process with my coach…  Because yes I have a coach. Just like I coach coaches, I have a coach too, it’s always helpful! … So, we were talking and what I noticed as I described this for her was that there was a sense of running around in a loop. Imbalance -balance, imbalance – balance, imbalance-balance. On and on… So I started to wonder:

What is this heaviness that keeps taking me out of balance? And then I had an intuition in the form of a phrase that came to me: “The Adjustment Bureau”. At first I thought: “Oh, yes, this is what I’m doing, I’m adjusting all the time”

Re-balancing as spiritual bypass

Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the film “The Adjustment Bureau”? it’s a great movie, highly recommended. The story takes place in a world very much like ours, except there’s something there that’s called the Adjustment Bureau. They know upfront that certain actions, certain very simple choices, like whether you turn left or right, meet this person or that person, can have huge consequences on how the human journey continues.

So to avoid negative results, to avoid war, unhappiness, to prevent that people take turns they should not take, because it doesn’t serve them or the world the best, this Adjustment Bureau adjusted people’s actions, quietly and invisibly. In the film there’s a whole story around it… Again, get the movie if you haven’t yet.

What I realized was that this was really what I was doing with myself now! Whenever I see the slightest imbalance I adjust myself, I control myself back into balance, back into light, back into joy. However, I do it so quickly, it has become so easy, that I actually miss the gift of the imbalance. Even if it wasn’t intentional I was using what some call “spiritual bypass”.

This is so important to get!

The gift of imbalance

It is so important to understand that when we have what we may think is a negative experience, or a painful experience, or just an uncomfortable experience…. In my case these were just shadows, it wasn’t deep pain. In other instances, it could have been something much more painful… But when these experiences come to us it’s not a mistake, it’s not some kind of outside force that is acting against us.

It is a gift from life. And the gift is there to be accepted and received.

If we don’t receive it then we will get it again. If I get a gift and I don’t accept it, and, as some people would say, don’t learn the lesson, don’t unpack the gift, don’t see the value and the energy that is there and whatever else is there..  when I reject the gift and jump back into balance (via a “spiritual bypass”), then I get the gift again. Fortunately so!

Knowing that, the better response, the more valuable response is to not to be so quick with jumping into those higher frequencies, and joy and love and light. Instead, stay with that experience, that challenge, that pain, that shadow a little bit longer.

Stay with it, allow yourself to feel it and to accept the gift. And then, as it is being received, as it is being felt, as it is being embraced, then we can bring joy and love and light and all good things in, all those higher frequencies.. And when we do…

How transformation happens (opposite to spiritual bypass)

When we bring these two worlds, these two types of frequencies together: the challenge, the tension, the separated energy one hand and then the higher frequencies, the flow, the uniting energies on the other hand… When we bring all this together then magic can happen. Then transformation happens. Then we truly receive the gift and can unfold into the higher frequencies with the gift.

That’s very different from just adjusting and going back and forth!

I cannot stress it strongly enough that so many of us, perhaps most of us here, have worked so hard and so much with our challenges, our problems, our pain, our past, our stories that it is very natural at some point of the journey to be really tired of it, and to have this “Oh no,  not again!” reaction. That is very human and I understand it completely. So there’s nothing wrong with wanting to move very quickly though it…

And, when I say: “Stay with it a bit longer” that’s exactly what I mean. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to stay there for another 10 years. I t doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go through years of releases and I don’t know what else. It might, I cannot exclude it completely, but in most cases, if you have done a lot of work already it probably won’t take that long.

It just means that there is no need and no help for you in rushing through it.

And just to give you an example of the latter… Well, I’m not even sure if I should share it because that in a sense opens a door to another escape… But on the other hand it’s a good example of how subtle it all is:

The good news

As soon as I noticed that I was playing the “The Adjustment Bureau” game with myself, I stopped doing that. Next time I experienced a shadow of attachment, I stayed with it and I allowed myself to feel it.

I then noticed that without me wanting to escape it this time, without me trying to bring in these higher frequencies, it untangled very quickly. It happened within a few days.  A whole lot happened which as a result began to bring me into a new state of freedom, one that I have not known before in this life. Maybe I have known it as a baby but not since. And who knows, it can be temporary and I may go back to take another round with it and if I do that’s completely fine, I’m learning my lessons too. But it showed me something else that is also important.

When I’m willing to not run away from pain, when I’m willing to not run away from even the most subtle shadows…because it is actually with the subtle shadows that this gets difficult… When I’m willing to stay with it, then it’s as if my soul and the whole world is saying “Yes! Now she gets it! Now we can help her! Now that she gets it we can make the transformation pretty fast and pretty easy and pretty fantastic.”

But again, this is subtle, so please try to, next time you experience a shadow, a challenge, a pain and your immediate response is “let me jump into positive thinking and joy and love and light”… Stay with it instead, and trust it!

There’s no need for a spiritual bypass – we are not alone!

You don’t have to hurry into some sort of escape because your soul, your God, your angels, your world, your whatever you call it, it’s all there with you. We are never in these processes alone! When we do our part the “higher powers” do their part too. And the other way round: They cannot do their part unless we do our part also.

Things can transform but only when we do our part and unwrap our gifts.

How exactly to deal with pain (without spiritual bypass)

For some of you this unwrapping of gifts and staying with the pain may be difficult, or you may not be aware of how to do that and how to bring those higher frequencies in.

Here’s how it works

I wanted to let you know that the tool that I was given (from within) and have been using for 20+ years and that has brought me through amazing transformation, just with this one tool basically… I have been teaching it to my coaching clients in the past and I also had  a course about it at some point but it’s really outdated. So I decided to create a new version of it.

I want to share it with as many people as possible so I’m going to share this course for free. And the only thing that I want to make sure before I start on it is that there are enough people that are interested. So if you are interested please let me know! Simple visit the page that I created for it, at Halinagold.com/see.

There you can register for the course. As soon as there are enough interested registrants, I’m going to announce it and you will receive information on how to access it. It will be as always with my masterclasses through a conference service, so that you can access it from your computer or phone, wherever you are. I just need you to register so that I know people are interested and so that I can send you the information.

The last thing I want to say is this — and it’s really important:

Thank you!

So many of us have been through a lot of pain. I imagine that you have been too and this is why you’re watching this. By working with it, by meeting it, by moving along your path you have done tremendous work for yourself, for your own well-being, for your own happiness — and also for humanity, and for the world. Because we are all connected. Every time you meet your pain, you meet, in a sense, everyone’s pain. Every time you are willing to embrace your pain with love and light and joy and not escape it, you do the same for humanity. We all learn how to meet our pain, meet our shadows with love and light and peace. And we learn how to transform it, and become the more liberated humanity and become the more free, more liberated, more joyful human being that we are destined to be.

Thank you for being here, for doing what you do, and also for reading this.

A simple way to increase your joy

Joy is part of our nature.  It lives within us. The only reason why we don’t experience that as much as we want to is because our energy flow is partly blocked.

There are many reasons for that.  If you need some guidance, start with the Finding Joy Ebook and I’ll be sending you some powerful resources and education along the way.

Sometimes, deep inner work is required. But then again sometimes you can increase your levels of joy by creating fairly simple changes! That’s what this video is about:

Here are the steps again (see the video for more detailed explanation)

  1. Make a list of everything that affects your energy positively
  2. Make a list of everything that affects your energy negatively
  3. Each week apply 1 thing from each list
  4. Enjoy more energy and more joy

Let me know how this works out for you or if you have any questions in a comment below!

 

Joy vs Happiness?

What is Joy and how is it different from happiness? And what significance does it have for the way you live your life?

That was the question that started the conversation between Deb Svanefelt and me. And it took us into so many exciting insights… Watch below!

Here are some of the questions we pondered:

  • How come children are so joyful – and adults not so much?
  • What are the 3 main paths to joy?
  • Why do we need to meet our pain and shadows before we can live our joy?
  • What is a natural Joy Keeper?
  • What is the relationship between Love and Joy?
  • How can being an ambassador of Joy help our world?

And finally a question for you:
What in this conversation touched your heart the most?

Here are the resources mentioned in the interview:

Meet Deb Svanefelt here

Download the Finding Joy Every Day ebook here

Join the Joy Keepers Network here

 

Awakening from the dream of scarcity

You see it. This thing, this offering. You feel a surge of excitement, like a fresh breath of air. This could be fun, it could be wonderful! And so the game begins:

Your eyes quickly scan across the whole thing. Where is that price tag? Ah, there it is. Oh. Oh…

You’re already in the midst of it.  The Fear, even if you may not experience it as such. Maybe you just call it “worry”, or “concern”, or “thinking it through”. Because this is a significant amount, for you. And so you have to ask yourself The Question. Or rather, what you believe is The Question:

“Is it necessary?”

It probably isn’t. What is necessary anyhow, besides food and water and a little space to live and breathe? Clearly, this thing is not that.  You probably don’t need it at all. “Not necessary”, your mind concludes. And, while your mind is doing its job, you feel disappointment.

Because, you, the living you, you really want this.  There is the excitement of it. The attraction. The happy feeling!

And so negotiations start inside of you.  You consider. Pros and Cons. Shoulds and Shouldn’ts. Joy and Fear. And underneath it all, the bigger questioning, even if it rarely comes with these words directly:

“Do I deserve it? Am I worth it? Can I have it?”

This question is so much bigger than the thing that you want but aren’t sure whether you can afford. This question is bigger than the negotiations within. This question goes way, way, back.

Back to the time when you were pure innocence, and from that space of innocence you did what every pure soul does, knowing that everything is possible and everything is a yes.

You simply reached out for what you wanted. And right there, in the midst of your joyous openness, which saw and knew what it wanted beyond any doubt and was open to receive it with all its innocent fullness, right there something happened that shattered your world.

The No. “No. You cannot have it. Don’t touch it. It’s not for you.”

“Not for me? It’s there but it’s not for me. It’s there so it must be for someone. But not for me. I cannot have it. Something must be terribly wrong with me! Something I’m not even aware of. I don’t deserve it. I’m unworthy”

This is how our innocent, open, curious, courageous, life-loving yes is being wounded and scarred. This is how it turns into an internal no as well, a no to ourselves, a no to our urges and desires, a no to life as is. This is how it turns into self-denial.

This is what’s been happening most of your life, for you, for those around you, for all of us that have been hypnotized into a trance of scarcity, emotional and financial.

But now, my friends, times are changing. The time has come for the awakening from the trance.

We are awakening to our joy, our curiosity, our yes to life in all its forms. We are awakening to the fact that life is not about necessity and it’s certainly not about deserving.

Because nothing is necessary and we deserve everything.

Because we are everything.

Because this is an adventure that you’re being guided on. And if that adventure takes you into a joyous yes to something, then it is simply an invitation to go there.

Not because it’s necessary, not because it’s the sensible choice, but simply because this is where the adventure is calling you to go.

To the wonder!