No matter how it looks, we’re walking together. Reach out to me if you feel it’s time for you and me to connect as well! 😊❤️
You see it. This thing, this offering. You feel a surge of excitement, like a fresh breath of air. This could be fun, it could be wonderful! And so the game begins:
Your eyes quickly scan across the whole thing. Where is that price tag? Ah, there it is. Oh. Oh…
You’re already in the midst of it. The Fear, even if you may not experience it as such. Maybe you just call it “worry”, or “concern”, or “thinking it through”. Because this is a significant amount, for you. And so you have to ask yourself The Question. Or rather, what you believe is The Question:
“Is it necessary?”
It probably isn’t. What is necessary anyhow, besides food and water and a little space to live and breathe? Clearly, this thing is not that. You probably don’t need it at all. “Not necessary”, your mind concludes. And, while your mind is doing its job, you feel disappointment.
Because, you, the living you, you really want this. There is the excitement of it. The attraction. The happy feeling!
And so negotiations start inside of you. You consider. Pros and Cons. Shoulds and Shouldn’ts. Joy and Fear. And underneath it all, the bigger questioning, even if it rarely comes with these words directly:
“Do I deserve it? Am I worth it? Can I have it?”
This question is so much bigger than the thing that you want but aren’t sure whether you can afford. This question is bigger than the negotiations within. This question goes way, way, back.
Back to the time when you were pure innocence, and from that space of innocence you did what every pure soul does, knowing that everything is possible and everything is a yes.
You simply reached out for what you wanted. And right there, in the midst of your joyous openness, which saw and knew what it wanted beyond any doubt and was open to receive it with all its innocent fullness, right there something happened that shattered your world.
The No. “No. You cannot have it. Don’t touch it. It’s not for you.”
“Not for me? It’s there but it’s not for me. It’s there so it must be for someone. But not for me. I cannot have it. Something must be terribly wrong with me! Something I’m not even aware of. I don’t deserve it. I’m unworthy”
This is how our innocent, open, curious, courageous, life-loving yes is being wounded and scarred. This is how it turns into an internal no as well, a no to ourselves, a no to our urges and desires, a no to life as is. This is how it turns into self-denial.
This is what’s been happening most of your life, for you, for those around you, for all of us that have been hypnotized into a trance of scarcity, emotional and financial.
But now, my friends, times are changing. The time has come for the awakening from the trance.
We are awakening to our joy, our curiosity, our yes to life in all its forms. We are awakening to the fact that life is not about necessity and it’s certainly not about deserving.
Because nothing is necessary and we deserve everything.
Because we are everything.
Because this is an adventure that you’re being guided on. And if that adventure takes you into a joyous yes to something, then it is simply an invitation to go there.
Not because it’s necessary, not because it’s the sensible choice, but simply because this is where the adventure is calling you to go.
To the wonder!
This is a time of transition, and with that a time of limitation. Limitation that I have hard time accepting – it feels so wrong at this mature time of my life. This should be and is a time of harvesting in so many other ways – so why this particular drawback?
My guidance tells me it’s only for a while, it’s a challenge meant to make me grow into a bigger energy, bigger service, bigger life. But even knowing it, the frustration is intense! So I decide to walk it off a bit.
I live in an apartment on 2nd floor and as I open the door and step over the threshold, I see there‘s a tiny bird flying above and around the staircase, obviously frustrated because it cannot find its way out. The main entrance to the house, that door is open and that’s how the bird flew in, and then it flew up of course, that’s what birds do… But somehow it doesn’t understand that in order to get out it needs to fly all the way down again.
So here’s this bird, flying really fast just below the high ceiling, then circling down to the window then back up… and I can see how it just continues doing this. “You need help! But how am I going to help you out??” I say to it, really worried.
I wish it would stop flying and sit by that window. Which by the way is protected by a railing and cannot be opened anyway. But perhaps, I could somehow catch it there? Not that I’ve ever tried to catch a bird…
Miraculously, as if it understands, or maybe just trying to escape from me now, the bird flies in between the bars of the railing and starts jumping back and forth, within the small space between the window and the railing, too narrow for it to take off again. This is my chance!
I speak calming words to it but it doesn’t seem to have any effect, the bird continues moving back and forth, now also trying to avoid my hands. But I am determined. Somehow, I don’t even recall how, everything happens so fast!… But now it’s in my hands.
The bird keeps trying to get out of the cage created by my hands, and I keep begging it “Please, just let me do it, I will help you, just let me do it…”. I have to keep my hands around it really tight so it doesn’t get away, because that would just take it back to the futile circling below the ceiling. I have to be firm and I’m also afraid of breaking something in this tiny, delicate body…
With its life in my hands I’m running down the staircase as fast as I can, until I finally cross the threshold there, but as I open my hands and release this beautiful, little being there is a moment of uncertainty: “Will it fly at all?”
Oh but fly it does, and not just to the next house or tree. It flies higher and higher and higher, into the sky, until I can no longer see it.
There are tears in my eyes, a smile on my face and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I’m happy for the bird, and amazed at the gift this little angel brought to me. Because, see what happened:
To begin with, this curious creature must have found our backyard and then it wanted to explore the space behind the open door. It didn’t know that it was too small a space for a bird.
I imagine that it couldn’t understand what was happening and why it couldn’t find its way out. And even less why it was caught in an even smaller space between the railing and the window. And finally, completely stuck between a pair of human hands!
And yet, somehow, it was through this utmost frightening limitation that it got released. Into the endless freedom of the skies where it belongs, and where it can choose its ways the way a bird is meant to.
This is what my life is about now, I see that. Moving me through shrinking spaces so that I can be released into the freedom of a bigger sky.
This is not a mistake and it is not the ending. This is a new beginning. This is me – and you, perhaps – crossing the threshold!
PS: If you want to learn how to find Joy even in the midst of limitation, download the Finding Joy e-book here
PPS: The bird pictures above are from not mine and they do not stem from the episode above. I didn’t have the time, the mind nor the intention of taking pictures…
This excerpt of the forthcoming book, Awakening to Joyful Living is published here with permission. All Rights Reserved.
Sometimes, your life purpose will require that you let go of what you actually love doing and are good at. How come? This video explains…
To learn more about stepping into your dharma/life purpose, watch Stephen Cope’s video here.
Share any comments/questions/experiences below!
Why can we not feel joy 24/7?
Why is something coming in the way of it?
And why do we not always get what we want (and how can we get it)?
These are the questions that I pondered on Facebook Live today…
It strikes me how we tend to speak of “best ways to live”, rules, habits, rituals, tools, approaches etc as something absolute.
It’s not. To use an example, a beginning musician, an intermediate student, an advanced student of music (or mathematics, or cooking), don’t practice in the same ways.
Byron Katie says it this way: “The reason why I love rules and plans and religions is that people feel safe in them for a while. And, personally, I don’t have any rules. I don’t need them.”
Some people meditate 5 hours every day, always at the same time. Some people live moment to moment and they live in the most awakened of ways. Most of us live somewhere in between.
So the art of it is to create habits or use tools in a conscious sort of way.
When you learn about a new habit, or a new tool or approach ask yourself this question:
“Am I drawn to this approach at all? Does it resonate within me?”
If you are, then the next question could be:
“Is it because it truly supports me in my particular life, on my particular path, at this particular stage of my journey? Or is it just because it helps me cope with my fear of having a bad day and my fear of having a bad life?”
I see tremendously succesful people share and sell the ways they live, the habits and rituals that work for them. And it seems like the right thing. I see how full of energy and fire they are, and how efficiently they live.
But then, with some of them, even some of the most world famous ones, they don’t appear very happy, or very awake (in a deeper sense of the word) for that matter. How come?
What’s right for them is not necessarily right for me, or for you. It depends.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have some habits and rituals too. But I don’t do them to prevent a bad day from happening.
Even if I, like everyone else, don’t quite enjoy those less than great days, I know from experience that these days always have a gift for me, a gift of transformation, release, growth. There is absolutely no reason to avoid them.
The habits I do have is because they feel like the most fulfilling, present way of living at this particular moment in time. I love doing them, I enjoy having these spaces in my day. I don’t want to miss them.
I’m not married to my habits. I’m married to my soul.
Just to give you a more specific example:
Those masters of efficiency say that you should study and learn something new at least 1 hour every day. Science confirms it. It’s the right thing to do, they say. But is it true for you? And if so, how is it true?
Let me share with you how my studying habits have been changing throughout my life.
When I was young, I studied all the time. I read a lot of personal growth books, spiritual books. I was fascinated by it. It was all new to me. I wanted to learn.
And then the day came when it was time to throw it all away and find my own truth and my own learning.
Nowadays, I may still check out a book of that type from time to time, but, with a few significant exceptions, I almost always end up just skimming it.
Right now, there are 2 books that I read almost every day. Just a page or two from each of them. One is the book I mentioned before, A Thousand Names For Joy.
The other is a book that isn’t published yet as such, but is available as a study group, namely The Lightworker Manual.
I’ve read these two (very different) works maybe 4,5,6 times before. I don’t remember anymore, and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I study in a very different way now. And the transformations that happen are deeper.
It is not an intellectual learning. It is not an emotional learning. It is not a learning at all. It is an exploration. It is using a book or a text as a way to explore the depth of my being and to grow and expand from there.
That said, what I do may or may not be what you need. What I’m trying to say is that it is all very relative. It all depends on who you are and where you and what your life is all about.
Don’t let any authority, myself included 😉 , tell you how to live your life.
See what resonates with you. See what’s possible for you. And remember that no matter how it may look on the surface of it, your life is governed by a greater wisdom than we, as humans, can ever know.
From that higher perspective there is no such thing as a wasted day, and there is no such thing as a wasted life. Those who speak of waste this way speak from fear, or from with the illusion, the matrix, the human game if you will.
On the other hand, joy, my friend, true joy is real. It is the reality of who you truly are. It flows from the very source of your being. So if you need a way to find out whether a habit, a ritual, a tool serves you ask this question as well:
Does it make you more joyful?
If you feel confused and want to spend an hour with me exploring what steps might be right for you on your way to Joy and fulfillment, reach out to me here.
I’m seeing so many spiritual seekers who are in pain, overwhelmed, stuck… And they are wise too, and are often aware that self-love is the answer to many if not all of their difficulties.
The problem is that having the answer is not enough… Listen in…
More about Real Self Love Days here.
Also, join us in the Real Self Love Movement!
Have you ever felt lonely and felt too ashamed to talk about it? Well, that’s exactly what we were talking about the other day on “Living the Juicy Life” with Dr. Jill Stocker”
Here are links to the resources we mentioned along the way:
Would you like to find out how you can turn loneliness to Joy in your life as well? I’m here to help!
Are you experiencing spiritual information overload? If so, you’re not alone! There is so much going on with us and around us, and I meet many spiritual seekers, Lightworkers and Joy Keepers feeling overwhelmed, even if for the best of reasons. What to do about it? Here’s a short 7 min video that I hope will inspire you
Be mindful of your needs and in that way wisely selective. Give yourself the spiritual, mental, emotional and energetical nourishment that you need.
When you accept inspiration/information, absorb it with your entire energy system, not just your mind. That will keep the energy flowing rather than depleting or overwhelming you.
Similarly, as a teacher, be sure to make your teaching a holistic experience, and not just information transfer. At the end of the day it’s that energetic experience that opens for the transformation that the world needs now.
And of course, there are many cases, where there is much more to it. Where spiritual seekers struggle with overwhelm and stress. If that’s you, I can help you regain clarity and find your way. Schedule a Light & Joy Discovery Session here.
Have you noticed how miraculous experiences always come with a great sense of joy? Here’s my miracle story – and some questions for you!
Learn more about the Miracles & Manifesting book project here
… and about Life ReWritten: Life After Love, Sex & Relationship Trauma here