What love and money have in common

What stops our joy? Most of the time, it’s fear. And much of that fear has something to do with love – and money. Listen in…

I’d like to share something about love and money. Which may seem like a strange thing to talk about. But actually, money is a theme that has been showing up quite a bit in the spiritual world. And it’s something that many people on the spiritual path struggle with greatly, and I have definitely been one of them. But no more! 🙂

This is something I’ve been exploring for a very long time. And right now there is another wave, where I go deeper and deeper.

So what do love and money have in common? This could be an interesting question to explore, but for now, the one thing that I’d like to share is this:

We fear losing love and we fear losing money.

The experience we’re having, maybe not when we think deeply about it, but on the feeling level is that love is something coming from “out there” and we can lose it, that we can lose  someone’s love.

And we’re having the same experience with money: we believe it is something coming from the external world and we can lose it.

It’s a very deep fear that affects us in many ways: it affects how we relate to other people, how we relate to wealth and money and how we relate to ourselves.

Yet both these fear are just that: they’re fears and they’re lies. Big lies!

Because the truth is that love comes from within. We are love. This is our essence. So we can share it with another, but it doesn’t really come from them. It comes from within.

And the same is the case with wealth. Our wealth, our abundance is our nature. It comes from within. And then it can show up as physical money or things or physical/external wealth… But it does come from within!

Which by the way means that this whole thing with the Law Of Attraction has kind of unfortunate wording I would say. Because money is not something external that we attract. It’s something that we literally manifest in the dream that we call life.

So these are big thoughts but I actually invite you to play with them:

Explore the fear of losing love or money

Whenever you feel it, whenever you become aware that you are fearing losing someone’s love, really go to that feeling and feel it – you can use the SEE Approach for that. And then go back to the knowing that your love comes from within and you can never lose it.

And similarly whenever you fear that you will lose money or that you don’t have enough of it: Feel it, explore that feeling – you can use the SEE Approach for that too – and then go back to the truth: You are abundance. It is your nature.

So play with that… and I would love to know how that unfolds for you, what you find out, what experiences, thought and feelings you encounter!

Thank you!

 

 

 

And then it happens – equanimity

And then it happens. The things we have heard about and read about happen. And it looks as we saw it described, but it feels differently. Because now we’re not at a distance from it, now it is in the life we live. Some places fires are burning. Some places people are attacking other people. Some places relationships as we knew them are dying.

That which was is falling apart. That which we wait for and know to come, hasn’t appeared yet.

And we are changing too. Somehow, we cannot quite recognize ourselves anymore.

We’re in unknown territory where indecision rules. Which way to turn? What to do? How to be in it for ourselves, and for those we care about, and for the world?

Perhaps the answer is to stay in indecision in a sense. Embrace the pain of the dying.  Remember that rebirth is inevitable. And stay in equanimity.

Play the role that you have come here to play. And stay in touch with that which never dies and is never born. Allow the greatness in you to express itself through you now, more than before.

Be the agent of the progress that is taking place. Be the Truth Keeper. Be the Love Keeper. Be the Joy Keeper.

Be You!

~ ~ ~

Image borrowed from BBC

Spiritual Bypass: Are we awakening or avoiding?

Are we awakening or avoiding? Knowing the difference between “spiritual bypass” and actual awakening makes all the difference!

But first a definition according to Wikipedia: “A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”.

Here’s the invitation mentioned in the video.

Why I hesitated to even speak about spiritual bypass

I have been wanting to share this for a couple of days now but I was kind of pushing it away and hesitating. I wasn’t sure how to communicate this. I didn’t want to say it in a way that could be misunderstood. But I guess the only way out is through it. So here it goes…

As you may know I have been speaking a lot about joy and awakening, for a long time, and it is one voice among many, many others speaking about the evolution of our times, the human evolution and us as humanity stepping into a higher frequency and higher level of consciousness. Which is wonderful and beautiful, obviously.

And, there are some challenges that come along with that greater expansion, challenges that we may not be aware of. Spiritual bypass is one such challenge

I want to share with you my own experience with that because I don’t want you to think that I’m just preaching what we should and should not do. On the contrary, everything I say is based on my own experience.

My personal experience of spiritual bypass

I had one such experience quite recently. And it was such a great learning experience,  actually.

A little bit of a backstory

I spent the first 40 years of my life struggling with loneliness really badly. It was very painful and really difficult. At some point I hit the proverbial rock bottom — and in that moment I actually experienced an awakening. An awakening that didn’t last but an awakening nevertheless that then helped me embark on the next stage of the journey. From there I was able to discover a way of meeting my pain with love and transform it more and more and more (learn more about that experience here)

Eventually, coming from a place where I was struggling with loneliness in spite of doing all kinds of inner work, healing, mediation and therapy and what not, I was able to reach the place where I am today: where there is daily joy and there has been so much expansion… life has become pretty beautiful!

Encountering shadows of attachment

One of the things that I’ve been working with for quite a while in the recent year or so has been attachment. I’ve done some deep work with that. As a result it seems that the core of it, the main part of it I was able to transform. And, I’m still meeting shadows of it.

The way I’ve been experiencing it lately is that, because my access to soul connection, to joy, to love, to light has become so natural… What I have been doing recently and noticing that I do is that when I experience some sort of attachment I then immediately re-balance. In the sense that I immediately go back to the joy and the light, as much as I can.  It’s like the natural thing to do, right? You see imbalance and then you go back to balance, again and again…

I’ve been doing it for a little while and then, at some point while speaking about my process with my coach…  Because yes I have a coach. Just like I coach coaches, I have a coach too, it’s always helpful! … So, we were talking and what I noticed as I described this for her was that there was a sense of running around in a loop. Imbalance -balance, imbalance – balance, imbalance-balance. On and on… So I started to wonder:

What is this heaviness that keeps taking me out of balance? And then I had an intuition in the form of a phrase that came to me: “The Adjustment Bureau”. At first I thought: “Oh, yes, this is what I’m doing, I’m adjusting all the time”

Re-balancing as spiritual bypass

Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the film “The Adjustment Bureau”? it’s a great movie, highly recommended. The story takes place in a world very much like ours, except there’s something there that’s called the Adjustment Bureau. They know upfront that certain actions, certain very simple choices, like whether you turn left or right, meet this person or that person, can have huge consequences on how the human journey continues.

So to avoid negative results, to avoid war, unhappiness, to prevent that people take turns they should not take, because it doesn’t serve them or the world the best, this Adjustment Bureau adjusted people’s actions, quietly and invisibly. In the film there’s a whole story around it… Again, get the movie if you haven’t yet.

What I realized was that this was really what I was doing with myself now! Whenever I see the slightest imbalance I adjust myself, I control myself back into balance, back into light, back into joy. However, I do it so quickly, it has become so easy, that I actually miss the gift of the imbalance. Even if it wasn’t intentional I was using what some call “spiritual bypass”.

This is so important to get!

The gift of imbalance

It is so important to understand that when we have what we may think is a negative experience, or a painful experience, or just an uncomfortable experience…. In my case these were just shadows, it wasn’t deep pain. In other instances, it could have been something much more painful… But when these experiences come to us it’s not a mistake, it’s not some kind of outside force that is acting against us.

It is a gift from life. And the gift is there to be accepted and received.

If we don’t receive it then we will get it again. If I get a gift and I don’t accept it, and, as some people would say, don’t learn the lesson, don’t unpack the gift, don’t see the value and the energy that is there and whatever else is there..  when I reject the gift and jump back into balance (via a “spiritual bypass”), then I get the gift again. Fortunately so!

Knowing that, the better response, the more valuable response is to not to be so quick with jumping into those higher frequencies, and joy and love and light. Instead, stay with that experience, that challenge, that pain, that shadow a little bit longer.

Stay with it, allow yourself to feel it and to accept the gift. And then, as it is being received, as it is being felt, as it is being embraced, then we can bring joy and love and light and all good things in, all those higher frequencies.. And when we do…

How transformation happens (opposite to spiritual bypass)

When we bring these two worlds, these two types of frequencies together: the challenge, the tension, the separated energy one hand and then the higher frequencies, the flow, the uniting energies on the other hand… When we bring all this together then magic can happen. Then transformation happens. Then we truly receive the gift and can unfold into the higher frequencies with the gift.

That’s very different from just adjusting and going back and forth!

I cannot stress it strongly enough that so many of us, perhaps most of us here, have worked so hard and so much with our challenges, our problems, our pain, our past, our stories that it is very natural at some point of the journey to be really tired of it, and to have this “Oh no,  not again!” reaction. That is very human and I understand it completely. So there’s nothing wrong with wanting to move very quickly though it…

And, when I say: “Stay with it a bit longer” that’s exactly what I mean. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to stay there for another 10 years. I t doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go through years of releases and I don’t know what else. It might, I cannot exclude it completely, but in most cases, if you have done a lot of work already it probably won’t take that long.

It just means that there is no need and no help for you in rushing through it.

And just to give you an example of the latter… Well, I’m not even sure if I should share it because that in a sense opens a door to another escape… But on the other hand it’s a good example of how subtle it all is:

The good news

As soon as I noticed that I was playing the “The Adjustment Bureau” game with myself, I stopped doing that. Next time I experienced a shadow of attachment, I stayed with it and I allowed myself to feel it.

I then noticed that without me wanting to escape it this time, without me trying to bring in these higher frequencies, it untangled very quickly. It happened within a few days.  A whole lot happened which as a result began to bring me into a new state of freedom, one that I have not known before in this life. Maybe I have known it as a baby but not since. And who knows, it can be temporary and I may go back to take another round with it and if I do that’s completely fine, I’m learning my lessons too. But it showed me something else that is also important.

When I’m willing to not run away from pain, when I’m willing to not run away from even the most subtle shadows…because it is actually with the subtle shadows that this gets difficult… When I’m willing to stay with it, then it’s as if my soul and the whole world is saying “Yes! Now she gets it! Now we can help her! Now that she gets it we can make the transformation pretty fast and pretty easy and pretty fantastic.”

But again, this is subtle, so please try to, next time you experience a shadow, a challenge, a pain and your immediate response is “let me jump into positive thinking and joy and love and light”… Stay with it instead, and trust it!

There’s no need for a spiritual bypass – we are not alone!

You don’t have to hurry into some sort of escape because your soul, your God, your angels, your world, your whatever you call it, it’s all there with you. We are never in these processes alone! When we do our part the “higher powers” do their part too. And the other way round: They cannot do their part unless we do our part also.

Things can transform but only when we do our part and unwrap our gifts.

How exactly to deal with pain (without spiritual bypass)

For some of you this unwrapping of gifts and staying with the pain may be difficult, or you may not be aware of how to do that and how to bring those higher frequencies in.

Here’s how it works

I wanted to let you know that the tool that I was given (from within) and have been using for 20+ years and that has brought me through amazing transformation, just with this one tool basically… I have been teaching it to my coaching clients in the past and I also had  a course about it at some point but it’s really outdated. So I decided to create a new version of it.

Simple visit the page that I created for it, at Halinagold.com/see. There you can register for the course.

The last thing I want to say is this — and it’s really important:

Thank you!

So many of us have been through a lot of pain. I imagine that you have been too and this is why you’re watching this. By working with it, by meeting it, by moving along your path you have done tremendous work for yourself, for your own well-being, for your own happiness — and also for humanity, and for the world. Because we are all connected. Every time you meet your pain, you meet, in a sense, everyone’s pain. Every time you are willing to embrace your pain with love and light and joy and not escape it, you do the same for humanity. We all learn how to meet our pain, meet our shadows with love and light and peace. And we learn how to transform it, and become the more liberated humanity and become the more free, more liberated, more joyful human being that we are destined to be.

Thank you for being here, for doing what you do, and also for reading this.

Crossing the threshold of limitation

This is a time of transition, and with that a time of limitation. Limitation that I have hard time accepting – it feels so wrong at this mature time of my life. This should be and is a time of harvesting in so many other ways – so why this particular drawback?

My guidance tells me it’s only for a while, it’s a challenge meant to make me grow into a bigger energy, bigger service, bigger life. But even knowing it, the frustration is intense! So I decide to walk it off a bit.

I live in an apartment on 2nd floor and as I open the door and step over the threshold, I see there‘s a tiny bird flying above and around the staircase,  obviously frustrated because it cannot find its way out. The main entrance to the house, that door is open and that’s how the bird flew in, and then it flew up of course, that’s what birds do… But somehow it doesn’t understand that in order to get out it needs to fly all the way down again.

So here’s this bird, flying really fast just below the high ceiling, then circling down to the window then back up… and I can see how it just continues doing this. “You need help! But how am I going to help you out??” I say to it, really worried.

I wish it would stop flying and sit by that window. Which by the way is protected by a railing and cannot be opened anyway. But perhaps, I could somehow catch it there? Not that I’ve ever tried to catch a bird…

Miraculously, as if it understands, or maybe just trying to escape from me now, the bird flies in between the bars of the railing and starts jumping back and forth, within the small space between the window and the railing, too narrow for it to take off again. This is my chance!

I speak calming words to it but it doesn’t seem to have any effect, the bird continues moving back and forth, now also trying to avoid my hands. But I am determined. Somehow, I don’t even recall how, everything happens so fast!… But now it’s in my hands.

The bird keeps trying to get out of the cage created by my hands, and I keep begging it “Please, just let me do it, I will help you, just let me do it…”. I have to keep my hands around it really tight so it doesn’t get away, because that would just take it back to the futile circling below the ceiling. I have to be firm and I’m also afraid of breaking something in this tiny, delicate body…

With its life in my hands I’m running down the staircase as fast as I can, until I finally cross the threshold there, but as I open my hands and release this beautiful, little being there is a moment of uncertainty: “Will it fly at all?”

Oh but fly it does, and not just to the next house or tree. It flies higher and higher and higher, into the sky, until I can no longer see it.

There are tears in my eyes, a smile on my face and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I’m happy for the bird, and amazed at the gift this little angel brought to me. Because, see what happened:

To begin with, this curious creature must have found our backyard and then it wanted to explore the space behind the open door. It didn’t know that it was too small a space for a bird.

I imagine that it couldn’t understand what was happening and why it couldn’t find its way out. And even less why it was caught in an even smaller space between the railing and the window. And finally, completely stuck between a pair of human hands!

And yet, somehow, it was through this utmost frightening limitation that it got released. Into the endless freedom of the skies where it belongs, and where it can choose its ways the way a bird is meant to.

This is what my life is about now, I see that. Moving me through shrinking spaces so that I can be released into the freedom of  a bigger sky.

This is not a mistake and it is not the ending.  This is a new beginning. This is me – and you, perhaps – crossing the threshold!

 

PS: If you want to learn how to find Joy even in the midst of limitation, download the Finding Joy e-book here

 

PPS: The bird pictures above are from not mine and they do not stem from the episode above. I didn’t have the time, the mind nor the intention of taking pictures…

 

This excerpt of the forthcoming book, Awakening to Joyful Living is published here with permission. All Rights Reserved.

Receiving and giving – the magic and the lessons

How receptive are you? How do you feel about receiving – gifts, money, people, life?

Most of us find it easier to give than to receive. As noble as it may sound, it is actually an imbalance, and it stands in the way of the free flow of energy and love.

This is important and I too am in the midst of another round of learning to receive more. This time it’s about receiving more while working and giving with less effort, with joy rather than with hardship.

It is a beautiful process to move through. And truly magical at times. So let me share with you one such magical story. Not just because it happened, but also because…

Magic happens everywhere and all the time.

It’s just that we don’t notice it and don’t appreciate it. By the way, noticing and appreciating, that’s receptivity too… 🙂

This particular magic was triggered by something that was so small that I hardly noticed it myself. But there was more to it. It had, in Eva Andrea  Ditlefsen’s words,  “a feel to it, of a loving intelligence, guiding it all”. I invite you to read Eva Andrea’s version of this story, titled “Put your hand on your beautiful heart

From my perspective, it was nothing special. I just followed a hunch and connected two people who seemed like such an obvious reflection of each other. All it took was an effortless mention in a few words on Facebook, nothing more.

But again, in this adventure that we call life, one tiny drop of water can create much bigger ripples. Paul Luftenegger speaks about it so sweetly in his sharing here.

There were plenty of ripples…There was the deep meeting of a soul family. There was the gift of Paul’s presence at the event in Spain, and all the hearts he touched with his songs. And then more hearts as the videos from the event were being shared. And from there more hearts that will be touched through his life-changing music.

And there were the many gifts given to me personally through the generosity of Steinar Ditlefsen (one of the most inspiring teachers I have ever met by the way), Eva Andrea and Paul. And last but not least there were…

The lessons – the gifts of insight

It amazes me how precisely these gifts supported my present journey. Perhaps they will support yours too…

What I learned about  value

During the event my experience was that I was being literally overflowed with gifts. To the degree that it became a bit difficult to receive at some point.

How was I to receive so much, when I had given so little?

It took me a while to understand, that I was viewing what came through me as insignificant because it didn’t take any effort or time and was just the most natural thing in the world to do.

Wow. What a huge misunderstanding, to appreciate the outer form of it rather than the actual value of it!

This is so important. And it is especially important in the context of our work as transformational teachers, coaches, healers, lightworkers, or doing any other work that we are called to do.

Because the outer form of our contribution may appear insignificant. Perhaps we’re just spending one hour with another human being. And it’s probably the easiest thing for us to do. It’s effortless. We’re just in the flow. We’re just listening, saying a few things here and there, the right things.

But the value of it is not in the time and in the verbal exchange. The true value of it is in creating a transformation that changes someone’s life.

What I learned about giving and receiving

As I was being overflowed with gifts, at some point I encountered the limit to my receptivity. It became difficult to receive more.

Fortunately, I was very aware of the process, and opened to it. And as I did, it opened itself to me. In that opening I could finally realize, that the giving and the receiving is one. The giver and the receiver is one. We are in the same one field, like petals of the same flowers, or branches of the same tree.

There is no giving and no receiving. There is only the flow.

Life is not even about giving and receiving – even if in a way it is 🙂 . Life is about allowing.

Allow the giving to happen through you and those around you.

Allow the receiving to happen through you and those around you.

Allow the sharing to happen through us.

It’s the most natural thing in the world. We knew how to do it from the day we were born, and we still do. We just need to be reminded. So I’m reminding you now, just like these beautiful souls, Eva, Steinar, and Paul reminded me of it, as well as others that I met during the event, and before and after. Too many to mention here, but you know who you are are…

If you follow any gift in your life, and what preceded it, it will eventually take you to the day you were born.

You are the gift.

We are the gift and our life is an endless stream of gifts, a magically scripted adventure. Always, always, always happening for us, and with us.

Us living it together, us giving and receiving together. Us sharing. Always. No matter how it looks.

So let love flow.  Let the magic continues. This is only the beginning.

 

Final words: 😉 What is the true, lasting value of what you are giving, through your work and life? I invite you to spend some time pondering it.

Joy against guns?

Click the above for more images from the March For Our Lives at CNN.com

Yesterday, 800,000+ people were demonstrating for more gun control.  What a deeply touching and amazing experience to witness… What a beautiful generation is growing up and making their voices and hearts heard…

 

And, there was also a sense of unease, in me, even if not very clear.

This night, I dreamed I visited a school and spoke with the leaders there, explaining how wonderful it would to be to add transformational teaching there. How quickly our world would change if we did that!

But the school leaders were skeptical. They said that schools are supposed to teach information, not transformation.

Really?

It was a good dream to dream. It made me ask some deep and unsettling questions:

What can I do? 

What can we do?

Of course, the answers are not easy, and they will keep evolving, but just for now, just to begin somewhere…

Perhaps the first step is to acknowledge what seems obvious yet needs to be said again and again.

Violence does not start in the moment someone buys a gun. Getting a gun is one of the last steps on a very long journey.

Yes, immediate action needs to be taken to prevent that step and the worst possible from happening. But asides of that, we need to get to the core issue.

All violence in the world is preceded by pain. And all pain in the world is also a pain within me and you.

Yes, we are One, in this too.

Here then, are some essential questions for each of us to ponder:

Who am I?

What am I?

What is my pain?

How can I heal the pain within me?

And then, as we open to answers and while we do the inner work that the answers must lead to, there are more questions:

How can I share transformation and not just information?

How can I help others understand that it all begins and ends with themselves? How can I help them heal their pain?

How can I make that understanding available to more people?

What steps can I take? What steps will I take?

I for one don’t have all the answers. This is all work in progress, for me like for all of us. Yet this is where it all needs to go. To a  place where we can not only imagine but actually experience a world where guns are of no interest.

“What if they gave a war and nobody came?”. What if guns were accessible for all and no one wanted them?

In case, you’re wondering what joy’s got to do with it… It has everything to do with it. Because there is no lack of joy in the world or in our lives. That is not the challenge.

The challenge is in everything that comes in the way of joy and awareness.

As Joy Keepers, addressing everything that comes in the way of joy is our challenge too.

As Lightworkers, it is our calling to be part of the global transformation, not just share information. No matter how enlightened the information appears. How do we do that?

HOW will we BE the peace, the light, the joy that we want to see in this world? That is the  open question.