The other day, I was blessed with some unexpected and beautiful magic…
From a certain perspective, the journey of awakening happens through 8 stages. Today, let’s talk about the first of them, our very beginning as human beings. And that means, our first actual experience of love, joy and oneness.
Even if it may not have lasted long we’ve had that experience already! In this way awakening is not really a journey into the unknown (even if it certainly can feel like it). It is a journey of re-discovery, of homecoming. Because…
The journey began with a natural state of love, joy and oneness.
At first the idea might seem like just another theory. I mean, how many of us can remember how it felt to be a baby? Who can confirm that joy and oneness was there at all?
Almost none, you might say. But then, perhaps we do remember without quite realizing it? Here’s how I came to remember and how the memory has been confirmed by my late mother (whose loving and supportive soul I am eternally grateful for today)…
There’s a transcript of the video at the end of this article.
Okay, you might say, but…
How do we know that love, joy and oneness is something we all experienced, not just some of us?
I cannot prove it. But there is an experience which most of us have had and which does confirm it in a way.
If you’ve ever been near a baby (provided it’s fundamental needs have been taken care of), the peace and calm joy emanating from it cannot but affect you. You get a sense of the state the baby is in.
I believe it happens because we all have that peaceful, joyful space within us. It’s where we all come from. Otherwise it wouldn’t resonate within us as deeply as it actually does.
In fact, for most people, being near a young child is the most direct way to get an immediate experience of love, joy and oneness.
It is part of who we are, it’s in our spiritual DNA.
It is still within us, even if we rarely have an immediate access to it.
We all come from that state of joy and oneness. But then, life happens. Separation happens. Pain happens. We have all been kicked out of our paradise. That we remember.
What we don’t necessarily fully realize that it happens for a reason. I’ll be sharing much more about it. For now, let me reassure that the inner paradise is still there within us. And we can indeed find our way back there.
Not all at once, typically, but gradually, along the awakening road. It is a rich, complex and sometimes tremendously challenging journey. But we don’t walk it alone. We have all kinds of helpful people and tools to support us along the way.
If you prefer to work with me individually instead, tell me why here.
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Below is a transcript from the video:
It’s a sunny day long time ago, I’m only 16. We’re on vacation, my mother brother and I. Except, it’s not a vacation. We’re away from home so that our father can pack our things because we are to leave Poland as stateless refugees.
The entire family is like a wandering break-down. I’m 16 and I hate all of it. My mother and I fight all the time and this is one of those fights. I don’t even know what the fight is about, I just know that everything is wrong. In the midst of it she says to me:
“You know, Halina, when you were a little baby, you would wake up smiling and you would fall asleep smiling. What happened to you?“
I don’t know what she is talking about. All I hear is that she’s blaming me, I cannot be me, she doesn’t understand. That’s how it is.
Then life happens and times goes by. I go through therapy, healing and what not.
And now I’m at one of those retreats. We’re being guided back to the first memory in this life.
I go deeper and deeper and deeper, not expecting anything. And all of a sudden…
I know that I’m this little baby, I don’t have words yet. But I don’t feel like a little baby. I feel like endless love, and endless joy and whoever is in my vision is me, and I am them, and that love just flows, there’s nothing else.
And then… I’m being talked back to reality and there I realize that what my mother told me was true.
I was born into a field of love and joy and oneness. We all were. This is who we are. It still lives within us, in this very moment. And there is a way back there.
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Joy is part of our nature. It lives within us. The only reason why we don’t experience that as much as we want to is because our energy flow is partly blocked.
There are many reasons for that. If you need some guidance, start with the Finding Joy Ebook and I’ll be sending you some powerful resources and education along the way.
Sometimes, deep inner work is required. But then again sometimes you can increase your levels of joy by creating fairly simple changes! That’s what this video is about:
Here are the steps again (see the video for more detailed explanation)
- Make a list of everything that affects your energy positively
- Make a list of everything that affects your energy negatively
- Each week apply 1 thing from each list
- Enjoy more energy and more joy
Let me know how this works out for you or if you have any questions in a comment below!
What is Joy and how is it different from happiness? And what significance does it have for the way you live your life?
That was the question that started the conversation between Deb Svanefelt and me. And it took us into so many exciting insights… Watch below!
Here are some of the questions we pondered:
- How come children are so joyful – and adults not so much?
- What are the 3 main paths to joy?
- Why do we need to meet our pain and shadows before we can live our joy?
- What is a natural Joy Keeper?
- What is the relationship between Love and Joy?
- How can being an ambassador of Joy help our world?
And finally a question for you:
What in this conversation touched your heart the most?
Here are the resources mentioned in the interview:
Download the Finding Joy Every Day ebook here
Join the Joy Keepers Network here
You see it. This thing, this offering. You feel a surge of excitement, like a fresh breath of air. This could be fun, it could be wonderful! And so the game begins:
Your eyes quickly scan across the whole thing. Where is that price tag? Ah, there it is. Oh. Oh…
You’re already in the midst of it. The Fear, even if you may not experience it as such. Maybe you just call it “worry”, or “concern”, or “thinking it through”. Because this is a significant amount, for you. And so you have to ask yourself The Question. Or rather, what you believe is The Question:
“Is it necessary?”
It probably isn’t. What is necessary anyhow, besides food and water and a little space to live and breathe? Clearly, this thing is not that. You probably don’t need it at all. “Not necessary”, your mind concludes. And, while your mind is doing its job, you feel disappointment.
Because, you, the living you, you really want this. There is the excitement of it. The attraction. The happy feeling!
And so negotiations start inside of you. You consider. Pros and Cons. Shoulds and Shouldn’ts. Joy and Fear. And underneath it all, the bigger questioning, even if it rarely comes with these words directly:
“Do I deserve it? Am I worth it? Can I have it?”
This question is so much bigger than the thing that you want but aren’t sure whether you can afford. This question is bigger than the negotiations within. This question goes way, way, back.
Back to the time when you were pure innocence, and from that space of innocence you did what every pure soul does, knowing that everything is possible and everything is a yes.
You simply reached out for what you wanted. And right there, in the midst of your joyous openness, which saw and knew what it wanted beyond any doubt and was open to receive it with all its innocent fullness, right there something happened that shattered your world.
The No. “No. You cannot have it. Don’t touch it. It’s not for you.”
“Not for me? It’s there but it’s not for me. It’s there so it must be for someone. But not for me. I cannot have it. Something must be terribly wrong with me! Something I’m not even aware of. I don’t deserve it. I’m unworthy”
This is how our innocent, open, curious, courageous, life-loving yes is being wounded and scarred. This is how it turns into an internal no as well, a no to ourselves, a no to our urges and desires, a no to life as is. This is how it turns into self-denial.
This is what’s been happening most of your life, for you, for those around you, for all of us that have been hypnotized into a trance of scarcity, emotional and financial.
But now, my friends, times are changing. The time has come for the awakening from the trance.
We are awakening to our joy, our curiosity, our yes to life in all its forms. We are awakening to the fact that life is not about necessity and it’s certainly not about deserving.
Because nothing is necessary and we deserve everything.
Because we are everything.
Because this is an adventure that you’re being guided on. And if that adventure takes you into a joyous yes to something, then it is simply an invitation to go there.
Not because it’s necessary, not because it’s the sensible choice, but simply because this is where the adventure is calling you to go.
To the wonder!
Why can we not feel joy 24/7?
Why is something coming in the way of it?
And why do we not always get what we want (and how can we get it)?
These are the questions that I pondered on Facebook Live today…
It strikes me how we tend to speak of “best ways to live”, rules, habits, rituals, tools, approaches etc as something absolute.
It’s not. To use an example, a beginning musician, an intermediate student, an advanced student of music (or mathematics, or cooking), don’t practice in the same ways.
Byron Katie says it this way: “The reason why I love rules and plans and religions is that people feel safe in them for a while. And, personally, I don’t have any rules. I don’t need them.”
Some people meditate 5 hours every day, always at the same time. Some people live moment to moment and they live in the most awakened of ways. Most of us live somewhere in between.
So the art of it is to create habits or use tools in a conscious sort of way.
When you learn about a new habit, or a new tool or approach ask yourself this question:
“Am I drawn to this approach at all? Does it resonate within me?”
If you are, then the next question could be:
“Is it because it truly supports me in my particular life, on my particular path, at this particular stage of my journey? Or is it just because it helps me cope with my fear of having a bad day and my fear of having a bad life?”
I see tremendously succesful people share and sell the ways they live, the habits and rituals that work for them. And it seems like the right thing. I see how full of energy and fire they are, and how efficiently they live.
But then, with some of them, even some of the most world famous ones, they don’t appear very happy, or very awake (in a deeper sense of the word) for that matter. How come?
What’s right for them is not necessarily right for me, or for you. It depends.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have some habits and rituals too. But I don’t do them to prevent a bad day from happening.
Even if I, like everyone else, don’t quite enjoy those less than great days, I know from experience that these days always have a gift for me, a gift of transformation, release, growth. There is absolutely no reason to avoid them.
The habits I do have is because they feel like the most fulfilling, present way of living at this particular moment in time. I love doing them, I enjoy having these spaces in my day. I don’t want to miss them.
I’m not married to my habits. I’m married to my soul.
Just to give you a more specific example:
Those masters of efficiency say that you should study and learn something new at least 1 hour every day. Science confirms it. It’s the right thing to do, they say. But is it true for you? And if so, how is it true?
Let me share with you how my studying habits have been changing throughout my life.
When I was young, I studied all the time. I read a lot of personal growth books, spiritual books. I was fascinated by it. It was all new to me. I wanted to learn.
And then the day came when it was time to throw it all away and find my own truth and my own learning.
Nowadays, I may still check out a book of that type from time to time, but, with a few significant exceptions, I almost always end up just skimming it.
Right now, there are 2 books that I read almost every day. Just a page or two from each of them. One is the book I mentioned before, A Thousand Names For Joy.
The other is a book that isn’t published yet as such, but is available as a study group, namely The Lightworker Manual.
I’ve read these two (very different) works maybe 4,5,6 times before. I don’t remember anymore, and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I study in a very different way now. And the transformations that happen are deeper.
It is not an intellectual learning. It is not an emotional learning. It is not a learning at all. It is an exploration. It is using a book or a text as a way to explore the depth of my being and to grow and expand from there.
That said, what I do may or may not be what you need. What I’m trying to say is that it is all very relative. It all depends on who you are and where you and what your life is all about.
Don’t let any authority, myself included 😉 , tell you how to live your life.
See what resonates with you. See what’s possible for you. And remember that no matter how it may look on the surface of it, your life is governed by a greater wisdom than we, as humans, can ever know.
From that higher perspective there is no such thing as a wasted day, and there is no such thing as a wasted life. Those who speak of waste this way speak from fear, or from with the illusion, the matrix, the human game if you will.
On the other hand, joy, my friend, true joy is real. It is the reality of who you truly are. It flows from the very source of your being. So if you need a way to find out whether a habit, a ritual, a tool serves you ask this question as well:
Does it make you more joyful?
If you feel confused and want to spend an hour with me exploring what steps might be right for you on your way to Joy and fulfillment, reach out to me here.
Have you ever felt lonely and felt too ashamed to talk about it? Well, that’s exactly what we were talking about the other day on “Living the Juicy Life” with Dr. Jill Stocker”
Here are links to the resources we mentioned along the way:
Would you like to find out how you can turn loneliness to Joy in your life as well? I’m here to help!
Have you noticed how miraculous experiences always come with a great sense of joy? Here’s my miracle story – and some questions for you!
Learn more about the Miracles & Manifesting book project here
… and about Life ReWritten: Life After Love, Sex & Relationship Trauma here
How receptive are you? How do you feel about receiving – gifts, money, people, life?
Most of us find it easier to give than to receive. As noble as it may sound, it is actually an imbalance, and it stands in the way of the free flow of energy and love.
This is important and I too am in the midst of another round of learning to receive more. This time it’s about receiving more while working and giving with less effort, with joy rather than with hardship.
It is a beautiful process to move through. And truly magical at times. So let me share with you one such magical story. Not just because it happened, but also because…
Magic happens everywhere and all the time.
It’s just that we don’t notice it and don’t appreciate it. By the way, noticing and appreciating, that’s receptivity too… 🙂
This particular magic was triggered by something that was so small that I hardly noticed it myself. But there was more to it. It had, in Eva Andrea Ditlefsen’s words, “a feel to it, of a loving intelligence, guiding it all”. I invite you to read Eva Andrea’s version of this story, titled “Put your hand on your beautiful heart”
From my perspective, it was nothing special. I just followed a hunch and connected two people who seemed like such an obvious reflection of each other. All it took was an effortless mention in a few words on Facebook, nothing more.
But again, in this adventure that we call life, one tiny drop of water can create much bigger ripples. Paul Luftenegger speaks about it so sweetly in his sharing here.
There were plenty of ripples…There was the deep meeting of a soul family. There was the gift of Paul’s presence at the event in Spain, and all the hearts he touched with his songs. And then more hearts as the videos from the event were being shared. And from there more hearts that will be touched through his life-changing music.
And there were the many gifts given to me personally through the generosity of Steinar Ditlefsen (one of the most inspiring teachers I have ever met by the way), Eva Andrea and Paul. And last but not least there were…
The lessons – the gifts of insight
It amazes me how precisely these gifts supported my present journey. Perhaps they will support yours too…
What I learned about value
During the event my experience was that I was being literally overflowed with gifts. To the degree that it became a bit difficult to receive at some point.
How was I to receive so much, when I had given so little?
It took me a while to understand, that I was viewing what came through me as insignificant because it didn’t take any effort or time and was just the most natural thing in the world to do.
Wow. What a huge misunderstanding, to appreciate the outer form of it rather than the actual value of it!
This is so important. And it is especially important in the context of our work as transformational teachers, coaches, healers, lightworkers, or doing any other work that we are called to do.
Because the outer form of our contribution may appear insignificant. Perhaps we’re just spending one hour with another human being. And it’s probably the easiest thing for us to do. It’s effortless. We’re just in the flow. We’re just listening, saying a few things here and there, the right things.
But the value of it is not in the time and in the verbal exchange. The true value of it is in creating a transformation that changes someone’s life.
What I learned about giving and receiving
As I was being overflowed with gifts, at some point I encountered the limit to my receptivity. It became difficult to receive more.
Fortunately, I was very aware of the process, and opened to it. And as I did, it opened itself to me. In that opening I could finally realize, that the giving and the receiving is one. The giver and the receiver is one. We are in the same one field, like petals of the same flowers, or branches of the same tree.
There is no giving and no receiving. There is only the flow.
Life is not even about giving and receiving – even if in a way it is 🙂 . Life is about allowing.
Allow the giving to happen through you and those around you.
Allow the receiving to happen through you and those around you.
Allow the sharing to happen through us.
It’s the most natural thing in the world. We knew how to do it from the day we were born, and we still do. We just need to be reminded. So I’m reminding you now, just like these beautiful souls, Eva, Steinar, and Paul reminded me of it, as well as others that I met during the event, and before and after. Too many to mention here, but you know who you are are…
If you follow any gift in your life, and what preceded it, it will eventually take you to the day you were born.
You are the gift.
We are the gift and our life is an endless stream of gifts, a magically scripted adventure. Always, always, always happening for us, and with us.
Us living it together, us giving and receiving together. Us sharing. Always. No matter how it looks.
So let love flow. Let the magic continues. This is only the beginning.
Final words: 😉 What is the true, lasting value of what you are giving, through your work and life? I invite you to spend some time pondering it.