What is your true, original, authentic voice? Have you ever wondered?
When you talk with other people, whether they’re friends or strangers, or when you teach, speak on stage, in a podcast, on video…
In a sense, it always is – simply because “you” is a very large container for countless versions of you, for all the facets of the diamond of your personality, changing as it turns around.
Just like you seem to change depending on the situation, so does your voice change, depending on who you are in that moment and who you speak with or to.
Your voice has been changing this way all your life.
In fact, some of the ways in which it has been changing are so deeply ingrained in you that no one experiences them as anything less than you. Not even you.
We have a habitual relationship with our voice
We are so used to the voice that we know, we’re hardly aware that it’s not what it once was
I’ve been noticing that too, with my own voice. Not because my voice has been artificial as such, or false. On the contrary, I’ve been told times and times again that I appear authentic no matter who I’m with.
I’ve been noticing these subtle changes nevertheless, because there is a certain energy that more and more needs to be expressed through my voice more directly, without me coming in the way. And so I’m finding the ways in which I have indeed been coming in the way.
I became more aware of the very subtle ways in which I’ve been trying to control how my expression might affect others. It’s not a conscious, “Am I nice enough? Polite enough? Pleasing enough? Intelligent enough?” And yet there is this wordless, invisible monitoring of of my expression.
It brings to my mind pieces from my voice’s history, and how it changed along the way.
Our voice has a history of its own
We were born with a particular, natural voice. It was the voice that uttered the first scream, the voice that uttered the first word. Or was the first word already a subtle adaptation perhaps, a way to model our parents?
As we grew up, our voice changed to express what we believed was the right expression in certain situations, with certain people, in any social context.
And perhaps, just like there are some specific pathways in the brain that are created and then grow stronger as they are being used again and again, perhaps in similar way our physical voice connected stronger and stronger with certain roles we played, certain masks we wore, certain behaviors we believed were appropriate (even when they were inappropriate perhaps), certain areas in our bodies, certain shades of our energy.
Some people believe that in order to survive or thrive socially, they need to sound clever, or original. Others believe they need to sound calming, non-intrusive, weak even. Others, on the contrary, believe they need to sound authoritative. The list goes on and on.
I can find subtle shadows of any of it in myself as well – I’m not an exception of course, I’m human…
And it’s part of my human journey to realize how these subtle, fine adjustments limited my expression, and my ability to connect fully.
Because at the end of the day, that’s the price we’re paying
Whatever stands in the way of our true voice stands in the way of our most true connection with others
I became aware of these very subtle, habitual characteristics of my voice when I encountered a strong tension in my throat. As always when I encounter a challenge, I dived into it, trying to explore it openly. Somewhere along the way, I discovered a different voice, or a different way to relate with it. From somewhere deeper within my body and my heart.
I noticed that when I speak from that deeper place, there is no self-consciousness, there is no self-monitoring and no constriction. Most importantly, there is a deeper, more direct connection with my heart’s ultimate desire. Which is, just to love. To love everyone. To love everything. To love unconditionally, with a child’s innocence.
It’s an innocence that so many of us have been either warned against, or have been made fun of, or have learned to fear and protect for any other good reason.
Changing, adapting our voice to what we subconsciously or consciously believed was required of us, was a way to protect our innocent heart. And with that, hiding our ultimate, direct connection with others.
But there comes a time on the spiritual journey when reconnecting with our true voice is as necessary as reconnecting with our true heart. So that we can speak our heart clearly, when we wish to.
The next level of our spiritual journey requires that heart and voice connection to be healed
Now, of course, what that “next level” is depends greatly on our spiritual journey.
For some people, there isn’t any immediate need to take that next step. Because the disconnect and the limitation is as subtle as it is, they can continue creating all the great things they’re creating, they can continue coaching and healing and teaching and it will still be tremendously helpful.
But since you’re still reading I assume there is a reason for that.
Perhaps your heart wants more of its innocence back. Perhaps your soul wants you to share and shine your light more fully. Perhaps, you sense that something is calling for you to go further and deeper.
Perhaps you’re ready to let go of these subtle yet deep adjustments and protective layers, in your voice, your heart, your being.
If so, in my experience this is not an easy transformation. It affects your entire life and it draws on your entire history. It’s subtle, but then again deep. It’s big.
Wherever you are on this journey, if I can be of any help, reach out to me. I’m here for you.
You see, the rather fortunate part of it is that I’m very much oriented towards sound, much much more than vision. Having played music for 40 years or so, including 20 years of creating music for healing and meditation, I have been blessed with an ability to sense the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of a voice. I’m not sure what to call it – intuitive hearing? – but I experience that a lot whenever I’m working with clients. We work over phone typically, so it’s quite fortunate to be able to have a deep experience and understanding of you this way, even if we’re not in the same room.
